Sunday, Feb. 08, 2004 | 10:37 PM

Something I forgot to mention in my last diary entry was that last night Matt and I were talking about possible band names, and one had come to me in a dream awhile ago, but I wasn�t sure if it was a touch ginchy so I hadn�t said anything about it. I won�t say what it is yet, except it�s two words�the first being an adjective and the second being a plural noun. (e.g. The blankety blanks)

I told Matt, and his face lit up and he said��Oh Wow! That�s the same name I thought of minus the first adjective!�

Weird, huh? Things like that always happen between us. It�s like there�s an invisible chord between our hearts and minds. It�s fucking mystical.

The band is basically an amalgamation of the following: The Mamas and the Papas, The Flaming Lips, The Velvet Underground, and the Guess Who. So far it�s just me, Kara, and Matt. But Matt�s meeting with another guitarist tomorrow, and he�s talking to a couple drummers. We�re also gonna add keyboards. We�re looking into practice spaces, too. And last night we had a huge talk about recording a record. And it�s not just pipe dreams�Matt has done all of this before and he�s driven as fuck. He has big ideas that he actually manifests. And, he knows all the ins and outs of the Boston rock scene. Gigs are a sure thing.

I don�t know if I ever wrote this down, but I had a dream that we opened for The Polyphonic Spree. It was at some festival in the desert. At the time I had the dream, I had only heard of the Polyphonic Spree and didn�t know anything about them. But in the dream, there were like thirty or so people in that band and they were dressed up like a choir, which I found out later is pretty much exactly what the Polyphonic Spree is.

Cue Twilight Zone theme now.

Everything about our relationship feels completely destined.

Shall I tell the story of how the band started?

Matt broke up his previous band shortly after Christmas. They�d been together since he was like, 17 years old. He wanted to try other things. He was looking on Craig�s List and came across an ad that said something like,

Are you tired of boring emo whiny indie music? Do you want to form a cool �60�s pop oriented vocal band?. He answered the ad and got a call from its writer, who turned out to be a girl that that he actually knows (the Boston rock scene is very small) and she had just recently left her band. They talked for awhile and realized they had similar ideas and goals. Then Matt said, �I know a really terrific singer, and maybe I could convince her to join the band.� Kara asked who he was referring to, and Matt mentioned my name. Kara gasped (I�m being dramatic now�I don�t know if she actually gasped, but it adds to the story) and was like, �Oh my God I know her!� I won�t get into exactly how she and I are acquainted because that�s another huge story, but needless to say, you never know how things are going to work out and this is just one more turn of events that has helped me heal my fractured past. The more I spend time with her, the more I like her. She is smart and nice and I�m glad we�re hanging out and jamming together.

Matt�s songs are so killer. I mean, really really special. And our voices together are like Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks or Paul McCartney and John Lennon�voices that were just meant to harmonize. I cannot fucking WAIT until we have our first show. I had another dream (my dreams have been so powerful lately) that we were playing at TT�s and Matt was wearing a white suit and looking like David Bowie crossed with Beck (god kids, he is so fucking beautiful. He has one of the most angelic faces I�ve ever seen. ) And I was wearing a white velvet dress (which I actually later found here ) and a crown of roses in my hair. Kara was sporting a short white sixties style go go dress and white go go boots and looking hot as hell rockin� out on bass. We were totally dominating and there was a huge crowd rocking along with us and Rick Berlin was there and I had the sense that his band had just played right before we went on.

On a slightly different track, it�s very weird because there are many similarities between Matt and my ex boyfriend. Both of them are talented guitarists, singers, and song writers. Both of them are obsessed with music. Both of them studied creative writing at the exact same college (Matt is actually still there.) Both of them have intense work ethics. Both of them have goofy child like senses of humor. I ran down the similarities with Matt last night and he was pretty floored. It�s sort of fucked up. Do you fall in love with the same person over and over again? Of course, they are also very different from one another as well in many respects.

And of course, Matt and I aren�t �together� in any sense and I really don�t know that we ever will be. I highly doubt it, and that�s totally fine. I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth and I don�t have an agenda of any kind other than to keep spending time with him and basking in his radiance. I�ve never felt so adored and appreciated before. He thinks I�m the cat�s meow. We treasure each other and our relationship is so utterly lacking in any bullshit. There is no one on the entire planet whose company brings me such happiness. I am completely giving and unselfish in his presence, and I feel like all of my �issues� disappear when we hanging out. I feel whole when I am with him, and it�s not that I am looking for him to complete me in any way�I just feel that our association brings me to a higher level of personhood. I feel like I finally know what love is.

God, I can�t wait until we perform live. I promise I�ll let you all know when we have our first show. You�ll know what it is I�m talking about when you see us. It really is magic. The Gods are smiling on me.