Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003 | 2:58 PM

Oh Crackers! I am going right outta my mind with excitement�not even nerves. Just thrilling anticipation like a kid on Christmas Eve. The mere possibility of being in a play again makes me crazy with joy. It�s what I live and breathe for, and if I�ve ever had a calling, this is it.

More likely than not, I won�t get this role. The chips are stacked against me in terms of youth and physical appearance. But if I don�t get it now, I know I�ll be able to do it someday and part of being an actor is constantly losing that which you covet. So it�s OK. I�ll deal with it.

(But I really fucking want it. OH GOD DO I WANT IT. Last night I played a game with myself about all the things I would give up to play this role. Would I give up sex if it meant I could play this part? Yes, most definitely. Drinking? Um�tough one, but yes. Karaoke? That�s a REALLY hard call but� yes, the sacrifice would be worth it. Would I be willing to shave three years off my life to play Ouisa Kittredge? AND HOW! Just tell me where to sign my name.)

I hope I get a callback so I can read her lines on stage.

My stomach is in knots and I can�t sit still. I think after work I�m going to get myself a glass of wine at the Pig while I wait for Angus.