Friday, Aug. 29, 2003 | 5:35 PM

So it of course turns out I was just being paranoid, but I confronted the feelings and was honest about them and actually was straightforward and asked him if what I thought might have happened actually did, and it didn�t. He answered me with such kindness and caring and love and insight that it made me cry. I was so afraid that he�d tell me I was paranoid or crazy, but he didn�t at all. He took me seriously, understood why I had the concerns I had, and very gently helped me confront my own possessiveness. He made me feel so safe�that it was OK to talk about things like this.

I don�t know if other people see that side of him�that gentleness and concern. And it makes me feel so special that he feels comfortable enough to be that way around me, and that I feel comfortable enough to share my insecurities rather than clamming up and being judgmental or critical�waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don�t know that I have ever allowed myself to be so vulnerable around anyone�and I�m not talking about the histrionics resulting from pent up emotions that I mistook for vulnerability in the past I�m talking about just naked plain spoken feelings that are dealt with as they arise.

I hate to admit this to myself, because it scares me to say that I actually need anyone else, but there is so much healing that comes from loving and being loved. And I�m so glad the two of us had the talk that we did. And I really really really really love him a lot. I love the people we are becoming to each other.