Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003 | 4:22 PM

Um�

Is it just me or is Hitler really silly looking?

I know you aren�t supposed to laugh at Hitler, and like, the holocaust is the least funny topic in the whole world. If there were a game show where the contestants were aspiring comedians and the host assigned topics around which you�d have to create a stand up routine, if one of the topics was the holocaust, well� that would be like, totally unfair.

Because there is nothing remotely hilarious about the holocaust.

And yet.

Hitler is just so silly looking, isn�t he? I don�t know how people could take the man seriously. Of course we are talking about the Germans. And they aren�t really known for their collective sense of humor.

Chocolate? Yes. Trains that run on time? But of course. Strange sexual preoccupations involving fecal matter, monkeys, and leather strap-ons? Indeed. Leiderhosen? Nobody does it finer. Marching? They kick France�s ass at marching.

Indulging in a good ole� case of the chuckles?

Um, no. Not really

Only a nation completely lacking in ironical self-examination would ever elect a leader who�s physicality eerily calls to mind a bug eyed and constipated Peter Lorre with a caterpillar crawling across his upper lip.

I don�t mean to rag all over Germany�those freaky deaky Krauts did after all give us Fritz Lang, Kurt Weil, Goethe, Hefeweizen, Kraftwerk, weinserschnitzel, and don�t forget The Scorpions�damn fine exports all.

I guess that�s what happens when a once prosperous country is debased and dismantled to the point of near non-existence, lacking the ability to feed or take care of its increasingly agitated, desperate citizens.

Pretty soon Iraq will be electing an albino dwarf who wears a propeller beanie and urges his flock of true believers to systematically slaughter American babies in a voice so high and fey even Truman Capote would be embarrassed.

Mass tragedy has a way of killing people�s ability to perceive the ridiculous.