Friday, Aug. 15, 2003 | 1:53 PM

I am at Angus's right now. He went to go cash his paycheck. Yesterday was so much fun. SO MUCH FUN. We went to my fancy Harvard party and there was a toast made in my honour (there were toasts made in many people's honours, but still... it was one of the highlights of my life) and I got a standing ovation for the "wonderful job you do for us". I also sang a song for everyone (I'll Be Seeing You) and that made people happy. We had free drinks and free food and Angus looked so stylish and attractive and he was his witty funny best self. Everyone really liked him. One of the female students told me to Hold on to that one, and then one the professors came up to me and Angus and told Angus he was a very lucky man.

After the party we went karaoking and it was lovely. Jonee and April and Debbie were there and Jeremy and Jeremy's parents, and Ben, one of my favorite peeps from Cabaret. We drank and sang and laughed and smoked. Director gave me and Angus a ride and we stayed up talking until 6AM.

Right when we were falling asleep Angus said,

You know, everyone at the party seemed to think we were dating.

And I said,

Well I certainly didn't tell them we were, but I didn't say we weren't either.

Angus paused and said,

Yeah, I didn't disuade them from the thinking that.

And I said,

What does that mean?

Angus said,

I don't know.

Then we fell asleep.

Labels are stupid. And rules of comportment are stupid. It's just nice to have someone, so many people really, whom I love so dearly in whatever way it is expressed. And whatever my relationship with Angus is (we're still trying to figure that out) I feel really lucky to have him in my life and to have worked through so much of the crap we've worked through. I really really love him. Sometimes it hits me like a sledgehammer.