Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2003 | 9:35 AM

Last night I started Second Job�the one I had last summer and loved so much.

My former boss, whom I adored beyond all reason, moved to Ohio and his been replaced with a robot.

Seriously.

This guy is the most humorless scary man I have ever met. The entire shift, every time I looked up at him he was staring right at me like literally boring holes into me with his evil robot eyes. It was unnerving. None of the other people who worked last summer are there again now besides me, and Evil Robot Dictator has no idea what the hell he�s doing so at every turn he�s asking me for help. He gives me the heebie jeebies big time.

Working there last night I found myself growing profoundly depressed. After having been awakened and living through my imagination and creativity for so many months, to go back to fucking Office Land�blech. I didn�t realized how depressed and repressed I was just having these JOBS�jobs that had nothing whatsoever to do with who I am at the core. And when I finally had the chance to do what I actually love, I started seeing the world in color for the first time in years after having viewed it through grainy 1950�s era TV static black and white.

It�s fucking disheartening as all get out to go back to. After having been away from it you realize to what extent you sublimate who you are and create this false self just to exist. And you tell yourself all these lies about ho OK everything is�that hanging out with friends and going to bars and shows is enough, that it makes up for the fact that most of your life is doing something utterly meaningless while your creative muscles atrophy. God, just thinking about it makes me want to hang a noose from the ceiling.

However, I am thankful for this reckoning because it makes me feel even more desperate to get all of this debt paid off so that I can really and truly leave this behind�I never ever EVER again want to do anything but music and theatre again, supplemented slightly by odd jobs and what have you. I don�t know how in God�s name people just resign themselves to living this kind of stale boring life working in Office Land without any dreams goals or aspirations of getting out.

But anyway, on the bright side, working at Second Job (although I can tell it�s gonna be tortuous and I�m looking forward to it about as much as I would look forward to sucking Dick Cheney�s dick while being forced to view repeated episodes of The 700 Club) is going to net me an extra $250.00 or so a week. If I live like Sidhartha and plow all those earnings into my debt, I�ll be able to get a huge chunk of it taken care of. And by March, I�ll be all set to try out for Straw Hat and get outta dodge.

Alamada is in New Hampshire right now and she and I have our final rehearsal tomorrow evening. I am so looking forward to the show on Saturday and so should you be.

(the two of us are hoping to turn this into a frequent thing at many different clubs�wouldn�t it be hott if I could find a way o earn an extra 250-300 a week singing show tunes at Gay Bars rather than sucking cock in Office Land? I bet you I�ll be able to do it if I really try�)