Tuesday, May. 20, 2003 | 9:51 AM

So. This is the longest I have gone without writing on diaryland ever. My monitor broke this past weekend so I had to wait until I was back at work.

Where to begin? So much has happened in the past few days. A lifetime has occurred. And I want to get it all down on paper (or rather in cyber space) but I don't know how to go about organizing it all.

I have never in my entire life experienced a period of sheer uninterrupted joy. Until this past weekend that is. It has transcended earthly emotion and become something utterly divine. I would not change a single moment of it. I am transformed.

And even though Cabaret is now over, I'm not destroyed in the way I imagined being. This play has taught me to honor the emotional truth of each moment, and that includes allowing things to be over when they are over so that new experiences can be ushered in.

I am sick right now-very bad cold, and really out of it, so I'm going to list a few high lights of the past couple days and will expand on everything in greater detail at some point in the near future.

1) I am going to be singing jazz and blues at the Charles Playhouse on the request of the bartender who came and saw the show. Most likely Alamada will accompany me on piano.

2) I am entering a singing contest next week. If I win, that's 1000 bucks I can send to the credit card company.

3) I had a very serious and intensive makeout session with someone on Saturday night at the cast party. No, it wasn't Co-Star. But it was the hottest thing that has ever happened to me hands down. My dream of being slammed up against a wall and molested has been realized, and it was just as incredible an experience as I imagined it to be.

4) Wonderful verbal exchange with Mr. Wonderful. He and I are getting together soon to work on some stuff.

The theatre company is doing a show in the Fall. I am hoping they decide to do Company. That's all for now.

Jesus, I'm fucking exhausted.