Wednesday, May. 14, 2003 | 3:27 PM

Here�s a little story for you.

It was the early Spring of 2002�a little over a year ago. I was on the bus, having just come from my metaphysics class, when suddenly I spotted an old friend from high school, Betsy whom I hadn�t seen in years. I called over to her and she made her way towards my seat.

We made small talk about our lives, and then began discussing our high school performing arts experiences together. Betsy asked me what I�d been up to theatre wise lately.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I miss it a lot, you know? But I don�t even know how to go about getting acting jobs.

Suddenly, the woman in the seat in front of me, a beautiful woman with big eyes and long blonde hair turned around and interrupted our conversation.

Hi. I�m sorry to butt in. But I just couldn�t help overhearing�did you say you�re an actress?

I turned beet red.

Uh� no. I used to be. Sort of.

The woman beamed at me with a 1000 watt smile.

My name�s Kirsten and I have a theatre company. We just casted our show, but we�ll be doing another one next year and you should definitely try out then.

I remember looking at her as though she was from Mars. I mean, hello? Did she not see how incredibly grotesque looking I was? Who in their right mind would want me onstage?

She gave me her email address and I gave her mine. We talked about acting until we both got off the bus and promised to keep in touch. And we did. Every few months she�d send me an email.

During the course of that time period, many things changed. I ended a relationship and moved out on my own. I started hanging around with different people. I started thinking about how much I missed acting. At some point in the Fall, Kirsten sent me an email letting me know that she was going to produce Cabaret, and that I should try out for it.

Cabaret has always been one of my favorite shows, and I toyed on and off for months with the notion of trying out. But I was absolutely panic stricken at the thought of going onstage and auditioning. I saw myself as being so hideously ugly and fat that I would literally be laughed off the stage by the director.

And then something major happened in my personal life, which sent me to the verge of having a nervous breakdown. I realized I had to do something to get myself out of the terrible depressed space I was in.

My sister was staying with me at the time. I would announce to her on a daily basis that I was going to audition for the play, and then just as quickly get cold feet and make up some excuse for why I shouldn�t do it.

Finally, it was the day of the audition. I hadn�t really memorized a monologue or decided on a song. I�d half heartedly practiced several different things, but hadn�t committed to anything.

Over the course of three hours, my sister helped me memorize my lines, and I sang through my song a couple times.

I tried (even in these pages) to appear confident, but I was terrified. I mean phobic. I knew I was talented, but I felt so worthless. I was sure I wasn�t going to even be called back.

Well, not only did I get called back, I got a great role. And I�ve had the greatest time of my life. I�ve rediscovered who I am. I now have drive and direction, and I�m not afraid of anything, really anymore. All my adult life, I�d grown increasingly frightened of loss�trying to make things as safe and secure for myself as possible, which of course had the exact opposite effect. By the time I turned 25 years old, I wasn�t even me anymore. I was this tight lipped, tight assed, rigid version of my former self. I was trapped inside a stone statue that looked like me, but wasn�t. And being in this play has smashed that protective covering. It�s been the most significant experience of my life thus far.

The moral of the story is, if you�re terrified of doing something, do it. Don�t let your fear and your ego get in the way of expressing your gifts. I truly believe we all have a purpose here, and once you find it and are willing to work towards it, everything falls into place. We all just have this one life to be who we are, so do something amazing. Make it count. Live dangerously. Take risks. There is no poetry in timidity. Make bold decisions. Be extraordinary.

Sorry to go all Oprah on your asses for the millionth time. But somebody�s gotta do it.