Thursday, May. 15, 2003 | 9:42 AM

Yesterday was a strange and beautiful day.

I got an email from my old friend and former college roommate Katherine, whom I haven�t spoken to in a good three years�not because we had a falling out� we just got lazy about keeping in touch. She found me through makeout club.com.

I was thrilled to hear from Katherine as I�ve been thinking about her a great deal lately (synchronicity again�I tell you, my life is magical.) She seems to be doing very well. She�s engaged to a pilot and is back in school.

It was nice to be able to write her and actually have interesting things to say about my life�that�s always a good thing. It�s such a new and wonderful experience to be excited about the day to day activities I describe, rather than feeling lame or apologetic about them.

Brush Up Rehearsal last night was a gas. We were absolutely obscene onstage. Beyond X-rated. Raunchy to the extreme.

The pineapple scene was SICK. Instead of a pineapple, Co-Star and I used a giant wooden dildo to great affect. I�ll spare you the specifics.

During Tomorrow Belongs To Me, Mr. Wonderful and I waltzed and dipped�highly inappropriate since it�s a Nazi anthem. And in the first scene we have together, he came on with a mullet wig and a deep southern drawl, and I performed some of my song while sitting on his lap.

In one of his scenes with Sally, Mr. Wonderful put in big fake teeth and played Cliff as a horrible Chinese stereotype. I was laughing so hard I fell off my chair.

Mr. Wonderful and I played my second act song as a simmering seduction sequence. God I love acting with him onstage. I really hope I have another opportunity to work with him again. He�s such a spontaneous actor, and so generous and giving.

After rehearsal, some of us went out to The Good Life for drinks (what else is new?) and I wound up getting into an intense discussion with Co-Star, and a different intense discussion with Director (whom I adore so so so much. God I�m gonna miss her like crazy. I really hope I can work with her again.)

Got home around midnight, and was very smart. Drank three huge bottles of water, took mass quantities of vitamin B, folic acid, fish oil, and chromium. Ate a bowl of chicken soup, and went promptly to sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt like a million bucks. I am a champion alcoholic ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight is a PERFORMANCE. A gazillion people from work are coming, plus some of my friends from high school. Afterwards I�m sure there will be revelry of some sort.

I have the day off tomorrow, and me and a couple of my friends from the cast are going to go see The Matrix II in the afternoon. Then I have another performance at night (which many of my lovely friends will be attending) followed by the requisite debauchery. (SCORPION BOWLS)

Saturday, Eric is coming up to visit and see the show. I have my final performance (with more of my darling loves past and present in the audience), then it�s strike the set, and head off to the cast party which I am hoping will resemble something out of Caligula. You never can tell�so many people in the show are in boring monogamous relationships (blech!) so any out and out insanity is highly unlikely. Co-Star wasn�t even planning on going because he has to work early the next morning, but Director enticed him with the song parodies he�ll miss, and I performed a tearful and flattering monologue in response to his intention of abstaining from the festivities. I think we convinced him to show up. I have a talent for convincing people to go against their greater judgement�it�s a skill I�ve cultivated over the years. I don�t know what it is exactly that makes people capitulate to my whims (Come on�you can stay another minute [four hours] and have just one [a dozen] more martini[s] with me�) I am most likely responsible for more missed work days, hangovers, passionate kissing scenes, and unbridled irresponsibility than just about anyone in the greater Boston area. Who knew that a sphinxy femme fatale could reside in a dough bodied unassuming looking Harvard employee?

Never underestimate the Fat Chick, kiddees.

So Sunday, it�s all over. And I�m going to put on a brave face and charge into the summer with diligence and discipline. I�m giving up all my vices for the time being (drinking, smoking, spending, junk food,) I�m paying off all my debt, and disentangling poor John from the burdensome anxiety I have condemned him to (without malice on my part, but good intentions don�t affect one�s credit rating) I�m going early to bed and early to rise. I�m going to whittle down my body into a long sinewy machine through an intensive exercise schedule. And I will emerge in the Autumn more powerful than any of you could ever possibly imagine. A dynamo. A cross between Wonder Woman, Mary Tyler Moore, Eleanora Duse, and Obi Won Fucking Kenobi.

Just you wait and see, babies.