Tuesday, May. 13, 2003 | 10:10 AM

I went to bed at 7:30 PM last night and woke up at 6:30AM this morning, and I am still exhausted. I feel like I�m fighting off getting sick�I�ve been dosing myself with vitamins and Echinacea and soup and sleep. Don�t worry chickadees�the show must go on, and I will be well. But no drinking/smoking/late nights out cavorting/making out for me this week (well, at least not until Thursday anyhow)

Tomorrow night is the brush up rehearsal, otherwise known as ANYTHING GOES. This is when we can do whatever the hell we want onstage�it�s the �let�s make fun of the show� rehearsal. I think I�m going to play my character as a drunk and a nympho. I think I�m going to carry a martini glass on stage and say every line to Cliff as though it�s some kind of sexual innuendo. I think I�m gonna play Fraulein Schneider for the brush up as a combination of Joanne from Company Mrs. Robinson ala The Graduate, and Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not. Should be good fun. I can�t wait to see what everyone else has in store.

I haven�t seen my cast since Sunday and I�m going through withdrawal. I can�t believe there are only three more performances.

It�s been really nice to have a small cavalcade of people in the audience for every show. Friday was my whole family, Jonee, Jeremy, and April. Saturday was Mom, God-Mom, Josh, Debbie, and Kelly. This coming Thursday is everyone from work. Friday is Alamada, Dave, and this groovy chic. And Saturday is John, Jenn, and Sean, as well as Eric and Brian who (bless their hearts) are coming all the way up from Jersey. And that�s just who I know of for sure. I love my friends. And I miss all of them�it was nice to see everyone momentarily this weekend. The only good thing about Cabaret ending is that I�ll have a bit more time to spend with everyone.

I feel highly affectionate right now. On Saturday, I just went around kissing everyone in site, and being kissed. It�s been nice to feel so huggable and loved and attractive, and to feel such warmth for everyone else. Being involved in something creative really brings that out of me.

I love love love love LOVE you all.