Monday, May. 12, 2003 | 6:45 PM

See, it's not about stealing the show or being the best or getting applause or having people like you. All that fucking ego bullshit.

It's about working really hard on something relevant, something greater than you. It's about challenging yourself and the other people you work with, and being challenged by them. It's about devoting yourself to a greater good, and surrendering to a character-- allowing someone else to come through you, and in that expeience catching a larger glimpse of universal truth-- seeing the world in new ways.

It's about finding something magical that envelopes you and centers you.

The rest of it is fucking irrelevant bullshit. I'd perform Cabaret on a bare stage with no audience every single fucking day for the next year if I could do it with these people. Nothing has ever meant anything more to me in my entire life.

I can't believe it's almost over. I think I'm going to go cry now.