January 29, 2003 | 8:21 PM

Just got back from my audition.

Umm� OK, since I�ve spent a great deal of time flagellating myself in this diary, I figure I owe myself some pomp and circumstance and an old fashioned self righteous pat on my own back.

Can I just say that I fucking ROCKED. Yeah dude. I was so aweso0me and powerful on that stage, it was unreal. My monologue kicked some serious ass. I even cried during it (which was appropriate). I can get myself into really good sense memory spaces and delve into personal pain and dredge it up if need be, and it worked.

And after I finished singing �All That Jazz�, there was total silence from the directors/panel and then one guy said,

Wow. Wow. That was really fantastic.

And then they CLAPPED. Which NEVER HAPPENS.

Callbacks are on Saturday and I should know whether I have to go to them tomorrow. One of the people on the panel pulled me aside and told me that if I didn�t get a callback, not to worry because it didn�t have anything to do with whether I got a part. Still, in my experience it�s always better to get called back than not.

On the way out, the secretary girl who took all my information at the beginning of the audition stopped me and said,

Um, you were so good. You have one of the most powerful voices I�ve ever heard.

And I was like,

Oh, uh thanks.

And she was like,

I mean ever�like even on Broadway.

So I started beaming and feeling all blushy and embarrassed and proud at the same time.

I stopped at Harvest Co-op after I finished the audition to pick up some spaghetti and sauce and potatoes and cheese and what not. And I went to the liquor store to get myself some cabernet �cause I feel like celebrating (I�ve been drinking like a fish lately, but whatever.)

Now I�m home and I haven�t felt so good in years. Even if I don�t get cast (which I know will be for stupid reasons relating to physical appearance), I am so glad I did that. I forgot how much I love acting and being on stage. I don�t know why I forgot that. I just felt so fucking bad about myself for so long, like I wasn�t worth anything. And now I realize how wrong I was in that assumption, and my voice and acting ability have only become better as I�ve grown older and more experienced.

So yeah, YAY ME. I fucking RULE.

Anna 100, Low self esteem 0.