Monday, Jun. 21, 2004 | 2:02 AM

Grrr�

It�s so long after the fact. Did I wait too long? Yes. So it�s not going to have all the detail. This is the Cliff�s notes version of my magical weekend.

Friday the 11th I got out of work at 12 and I got my hair cut really short at the Dellaria salon. It�s the best haircut I ever got. This is the shortest my hair has ever been and it�s fucking liberating.

After I left the salon I walked over to Trader Joes to buy wine, cheese, and crackers for the trip, and no less than three people stopped me on the street to comment on my hair. I was also wearing my flattering new Stevie Nicks dress and I looked pretty goddamned good. People were looking at me differently and I knew I was glowing. I have started to really recognize that there�s something beautiful inside of me just waiting to fully show itself. I�ve only gotten to the tip of the iceberg but I�m working on it.

After that I went over to Matt�s and he was floored and gushing over me which made me feel like a million dollars. We had some lunch at the Greek place and shmyed around for awhile. Then we went over to Lynn�s boyfriend�s to buy grass. We got high over there and I�d forgotten Lynn�s boy has a pet snake (Matt is deathly phobic of snakes the way I am of rats.) Also, Braveheart was on TV and Matt HATES violence�especially violence against women. So we�re high and there�s the snake and the violence and poor Matt was doing his best to keep it together�you wouldn�t have been able to tell he was losing his shit but I know him better than anyone so I was acutely aware. We made a quick exit and called a cab to the train station.

We told the cabby we had a train to catch, and so of course he fucking stopped for gas and shmoozed with the station attendant for way too long. We missed the train and wound up having to wait for two hours for the next one. A functionally crazy dude sat down next to us on the bench and the crazy dude only had eyes for Matt�wanted him so badly (who can blame him since Matt is quite possibly the most beautiful Botticelli angel man alive.)

You look just like Noel Gallagher

said the insane man to Matt, blushing and stammering.

Highly amusing.

We were unfazed by the change in plans and the craziness thrown our way because we are in love and we have our own special world that nothing can touch.

We got to Salem around 10PM and walked to the historic Hawthorn hotel. We�d booked the cheapest room but we got bumped for some reason to one of the nicest rooms (no extra charge.) It was gigantic and had a huge four poster bed and chandeliers and mahogany furniture.

We ordered room service, got high, and cracked open some wine (Oh, I�m drinking again�very very moderately and occasionally and it�s working out well.) Then we proceeded to have an all night fuck fest which was utterly mind blowing and the hottest thing I�ve ever experienced. We were both literally screaming by the end.

The next morning I woke up and Matt, darling boy, was still asleep. I went downstairs and bought the New York Times and read it cover to cover in the fancy hotel bar, whilst drinking glass and after glass of diet coke with lime.

When I got back to hotel room, Matt was still asleep and I curled up next to him for awhile and daydreamed.

When he awoke, I got him some Tylenol and vitamins and gave him a massage and then we ordered lunch and listened to Chopin. We talked for hours and hours until it was time to eat again. We ordered strawberry parfaits (heavenly) and huge pots of coffee and tea. We got high and listened to music and then we made love again and unbelievably it was even better than the night before.

We lolled around naked forever and made out more and talked and then we figured we should probably leave the hotel. We went to Fool�s Mansion and bought candles and we bought more wine and then we had dinner at Salem Beer Works. It was decadent and delicious.

We went back to the hotel and got stoned and watched stupid TV that we both enjoyed way too much (since neither of us watch TV hardly at all.) Then we got romantic and drank champagne and talked and fucked some more and then made out for hours and listened to music and watched more TV and talked more until we fell asleep.

On Sunday we checked out and then went to a very fancy brunch where a live jazz band played. The brunch was a buffet (fucking delicious) and I had a mimosa. After that we stored our bags with the front desk and went out to Salem Common where we laid in the grass for hours and held hands and talked. We spent the rest of the day walking around and talking. We had Mexican food for a late lunch, picked up our bags and went back to Boston.

We proceeded to hang out at Matt�s house for awhile with his roommates (whom I love) until they went to bed. Then the two of us watched Donnie Darko which Matt had never seen (he loved it�I knew he would.) And at the end of the night we had more mind blowing sex and then eventually at like 4AM I went back home �cause I had to go to work early the next morning and had no clean clothes left.

It was the best weekend I ever had.

This weekend I went to Rochester and I missed Matt like crazy. I got back to Boston tonight and went right over to his house. He made me dinner and we had sex that surpassed the sex we had last weekend and at the end of the night he said,

We are meant for each other. It�s crazy how meant for each other we are.

And we couldn�t stop saying goodbye and telling each other how much we loved the other person.

This weekend in Rochester was amazing and I�ll talk more about it later.

Matt is so perfect and I love him in a way that surpasses the word love. And he loves me like I never knew anyone could. And we are getting married and everything is so perfect that it�s unreal, and it�s more and more perfect every day. We have this band and we have each other and my whole life has been leading up to this.

Even my Mom the skeptic (she�s really wary of anyone I get involved with for a number of reasons) has come around. She told me that I have never looked happier in my entire life than I look right now. And she knows how much of that has to do with Matt.

I�m just so fucking happy that I can hardly get my bearings.

Who knew life could be like this? I�ll try to get better at recording it all as it happens, but I�m just so blissed out all the time that the recording of it is hard. Still, I want to keep a record. I want to be able to read this over when I�m eighty and remember just how wonderful my late twenties were.

And I just know that it�s going to keep getting better and better.