Saturday, May. 01, 2004 | 11:40 AM

Last night�s show was amazing. I love this cast. It�s very interesting that there are so many people in it who have synchronistic situations re theatre. Several of us had stopped acting for a long time and then some heart breaking situation occurred (end of relationship, death of a loved one, etc.) that made us start again. We�re all so passionate about it in a way that only people who have truly lost something can be passionate when they find it again.

I can�t believe tonight is the last night of the show. It makes me so sad to know I�ll only have one last opportunity to perform this play with these people.

I came to a serious revelation last night and it�s going to sound wicked cheesy but I cannot stress how important this is.

I am worthy of being loved. I am special enough for someone to take that leap of faith�to make a choice to be with me. I am a good person and I have a lot to offer. And I want to be with someone who really recognizes that�whether it�s Matt or whoever else. I deserve the absolute best treatment from someone and I�m willing to give back just as much.

And because I know that, whatever happens is going to be fine. I have my own internal compass and I�ll never be at the mercy of anyone else�s ever again.

I have so much love in my heart right now. I�m just filled to the brim with it. I really miss Matt and I can�t wait to see him. I hope he�s doing OK.