Monday, Mar. 08, 2004 | 2:38 PM

So I�m feeling much better. After work yesterday I went home and hung out with Angus for awhile and watched School of Rock and I just love that movie. It makes me ridiculously happy on many different levels. And Angus was cracking me up and relaxing me and I started getting out of the anxiety attack mode I�d been in all day.

Then I had a couple drinks. And I wasn�t drunk by any means, but I was definitely slightly toasted and I wrote Matt the most florid embarrassing email I've ever written. It was like 3 paragraphs long and the gist of it was

Gush Gush I love you so much gush gush gush you�re amazing gush gush I can�t believe I get to have you in my life gush gush gush you�ve given me back my love for music gush gush I never thought I could love again

I re-read it this morning and almost kicked myself. Not that all of those things aren�t true. They are. But jesus I�ve just opened up my heart to invasion. I have the unfortunate dichotomy of wanting to protect myself and not let anyone know how I�m feeling, but being compulsively honest and super intense about my emotions. Oh well.

I�m punchy and tired and I wish I didn�t have rehearsal tonight. Matt�s away and I miss him a lot.

Basically I have nothing interesting to say right now.

Worst. Entry. Ever.