Friday, Feb. 27, 2004 | 8:39 PM

Today my cat was put to sleep.

Barnum was born in my house. It was July and I was 11 years old. The week before I�d been hauled into the Brighton town police station for making prank phone calls and my family was furious at me. I had been threatened with juvey. No one in my family would talk to me.

Barnum was born, along with his two siblings, behind the dehumidifier in our basement. He was a tiny gray and white bundle of fur, eyes shut tight, mewling and miraculous.

When he was born, I promised him and his two brothers that I would be a better kid, that I would stop all this baby criminal nonsense. Because after all, I had responsibilities.

Barnum slept in my room every night from the time he was weaned until I went off to college. When I went home this past Christmas for two weeks, he fell back into that habit. One night I mistakenly closed the door to my bedroom before he was ready to join me and he cried outside until I stumbled out of bed to let him in. He was the sweetest, dearest, most loving animal I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Today my mother called me at work hysterical. She and my brother and my littlest sister had gotten the news from the vet that Barnum had stomach cancer. He was sixteen years old and he was in pain. What other decision could they have made? They all sat with him while he was injected with a lethal dose of anesthesia. It was an easy passing.

I know it sounds stupid to be so broken up over a cat. But he was part of our family and I loved him very very much. I am reminded yet again of how miraculous it is to be allowed to love and care for a living thing, and how fragile we all are. I feel so lucky to have known such a wonderful creature for so long. To have been comforted by his presence and his unconditional loyalty. This is one more being whose passing I was unable to bear witness to, one more being to whom I did not get to say good-bye.

But I treasure having known him and I never took him for granted. That�s really all we can do in this life which is so beautiful and provides us with so many blessings, and yet can so easily and guilelessly take them away at a moment�s notice.