Thursday, Jan. 29, 2004 | 2:36 PM

I don�t know why I got on that weird track earlier when I�ve just been reminded again that things are so good now. I guess it always hurts initially when someone you were romantically attached to finds someone else. Ivy is so amazing and I�m very glad that she�s happy. It�s funny how far I�ve come with that. I have so many close friends that have been lovers and I never would have thought myself capable of that. I went through some profound psychological changes and I pretty much got rid of most of my jealous tendencies, which is no mean feat considering.

And you know�again I just keep coming back to the idea that whatever happens as far as Matt is concerned or with anyone else romantically�if it�s supposed to happen it will happen of its own accord. Whenever I�ve �tried� to make things happen in the past, the results have been disastrous. Things work out. Would I have thought a year ago that I�d be in a great new band, that I�d have been involved in such a wonderful acting program, that I�d have the people in my life that I currently have? There are always surprises.