Sunday, Jan. 11, 2004 | 9:32 AM

Matt and I met at Boston Beer Works at 5 and had dinner and drinks for a couple of hours. It�s always so good to see him, and I felt like I was just drinking him in. I love his face, and his voice and everything he has to say. We saw LOTR again and afterwards we still wanted to hang out so we went back to the Beer Works and each had a drink and stayed til closing time. We took a cab back to Allston and he got out of the cab first and we kissed good bye. I went home to my house and smoked cigarettes and thought about our conversations and about his loveliness and about how much I like him. Every time I see him I�m more enamored of him. He has this sweetness and naivete about him that makes me want to protect him and take care of him, but he�s also obscenely brilliant and funny and quirky and driven and is most definitely going somewhere. He has big dreams that he�s not afraid to chase and the more people I have in my life who are like that, the better. Whatever it is we have, I love our friendship. It�s very romantic and high minded and I feel like I�m the best person I can be when I am around him.

He paid me a great compliment last night. He told me that of anyone he�s ever met, I may have the best most wide ranging taste in music. I think that�s probably a bit of an overstatement, but I was flattered nonetheless. We had a very long discussion about music last night and of anyone I�ve ever met, I think he and I are the most in synch in terms of what we like and why we like it. I have never met anyone else who has the same appreciation I have for lush sixties pop music i.e. The Turtles and the Association and the Rascals�shit I always got made fun of for liking. And he can go from talking about that stuff to talking about Yo La Tengo and X and Guided by Voices and the Shins in nothing flat. And he also adores Zeppelin and Floyd. He digs Johnny Cash and he likes Laura Nyro and loves Carole King and thinks U2 are amazing. He�s not afraid to be earnest and achingly sincere, but he�s not like that in some stupid sensitive ponytail kind of way. He�s just wonderful and I can�t believe how fortunate I am to know him. He�s so kind to me and solicitous and he really thinks that I�m fantastic. We have this mutual admiration society where neither of us can believe we are so lucky as to have the other person in our lives. It�s really unlike anything I�ve ever experienced. It feels so good to not be taken for granted. And it�s going at a nice slow pace�I don�t know quite what it will settle into but I�m glad that no one is forcing any definitions about what it�s supposed to be. This is entirely different than anything I�ve ever experienced.

I�m a really really lucky girl. I have so much love in my life and so many blessings. I try to be thankful on a daily basis and not take any of it for granted.