Friday, Dec. 26, 2003 | 5:38 PM

The Mix I Made For Matt:

The Hollies: King Midas in Reverse
>David Bowie: My Death
Yo La Tengo: Autumn Sweater
Pink Floyd: See Emily Play
Grant Lee Buffalo: Mockingbirds
The Byrds: So You Wanna Be A Rock �n� Roll Star
The Turtles: Happy Together
PJ Harvey: This is Love
Jeff Buckley: Hallelujah
Echo & The Bunnymen: Lips Like Sugar
Pavement: Summer Babe
The Verve: The Drugs Don�t Work
Fugazi: Suggestion
Concrete Blonde: Joey
Sebadoh: Soul & Fire
Tina Turner: River Deep Mountain High

This was the best Christmas I�ve ever had�or at least, the best adult Christmas I�ve ever had. Yesterday night my whole family and my grandparents and godmother had a wonderful dinner and we watched the dramatization of A Child�s Christmas in Whales by Dylan Thomas. We told jokes and we played music�my Mom played piano, my sister played bass, I sang, and my brother played clarinet. We all hung out til 11PM. Oh, I got wonderful gifts too.

This morning Matt and his sister came for brunch and stayed until 4PM. I care for both of them so much. I gave Matt his (unabashedly romantic) mix. I really really love him in some wonderfully weird goofy way and it�s reciprocated. I don�t know if sexual intimacy will ever be a part of this relationship and I�m thinking probably not�I�m not even sure if that�s what I want from him. But our relationship is romantic in a way that I have never experienced before, and I am so thankful for it. I�m really really happy right now.

Matt was very happy with his mix. I adore him.