Wednesday, Oct. 01, 2003 | 3:32 PM

Today I�m feeling pretty god damned fucking good. I really am. There�s a slight chill in the air and I loooooooove Fall. Almost as much as I love Spring.

Had acting class last night and my acting teacher loves me. It�s awesome to be there. God he�s fucking brilliant and accomplished and I want him very very badly but I think he might be married. Drats.

I did a web search on Blondie, my scene partner (who I am practicing with tonight) HOLY SHIT dude. She�d mentioned to me a couple of things she was involved with, but maybe she just didn�t wanna blow her own horn �cause like, she�s had small roles in several major Hollywood films. I KNEW she looked familiar. She�s also been on the cover of several regional magazines and in a bunch of commercials. God I�m such a starfucker, you know? It shouldn�t matter but I feel really cool that she�s my scene partner. She is very talented. Our scene is going to fucking blow everybody out of the water. We are just too damned good.

Speaking of Star fucking., Mr. Wonderful who played Cliff in my production of Cabaret had a big write up recently in Boston magazine and was named Best Up and Coming actor or something like that. It�s so fucking fantastic to be surrounded by people who are on the move, you know? And I don�t mean that even in the star fucking sense�it�s just inspiring to be around people who are actually doing things. And to actually be doing things myself. I have such a good feeling about the future right now. It�s like stuff is just falling into place.

And tomorrow night is karaoke and I think Ivy is coming and I hope she is and I also hope she really isn�t back with her boyfriend and I hope she makes out with me because I really really REALLY want her a lot. I am so attracted to her that I can hardly stand it. I mean never in my life have I been this attracted to anyone, much less a woman. I hope she wears a short skirt and her boots. God damn it she is so fucking beautiful.