Friday, Sept. 19, 2003 | 11:17 AM

Ah yesterday. Yesterday was the dichotomy of all that is wonderful and terrible about life.

It started with the terrible.

Work was sucky beyond belief. I mean, it fucking BLEW. A couple of idiots fucked something up royally and so I and my dear friend M. whom I adore to pieces wound up spending four hours fixing it. Didn�t take lunch. Stayed three hours later than I am supposed to. And I was so goddamned tired because the night before Angus and I had been up late carousing and discussing and fighting and loving and drinking. And I also had been so busy and excited with things (re: class) that I had actually forgotten to eat for like 48 hours. So I was like, a total fucking mess by the time I left work. I was literally on the verge of crying.

When I finally got home I ate something (a piece of foccacia with brie on it. And dude, I gotta say, when you haven�t eaten anything for 48 hours, eating something tasty is like, a fucking RELIGIOUS experience. It was so fucking good I almost orgasmed to death eating it.)

I took a tiny little nap and watched the Eleanor Powell/Fred Astaire Broadway Melody of 1940 tap dance sequence of That�s Entertainment (that honestly has to be one of the finest scenes ever captured on film for so many reasons and I think someday I�m going to write an entire entry about why it�s so fucking fantabulous. But that day is not today.)

And then it was off to karaoke with Lynn and Angus.

God damn�t, I fucking LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH karaoke Thursdays so fucking much. And yesterday I think may have just been the best karaoke Thursday of all time. Because so many people I treasure were there. Debbie and Josh came and Kat and Jeremy and Director and Stage Manager and Choreographer.

But of course the guest of honor was the infamous Jonee (with the lovely A. in tow.) Jonee is leaving so fucking soon for the Wild Wild West and it was bittersweet seeing him and realizing that I�m gonna miss him so horribly. Which is funny �cause lately we haven�t hung out very much, but he is just this PRESENCE in my life, you know? This energy that is part of my environment�something calm and wonderful and right�I can�t tell you how much I respect him. He�s like a sage or something, and I just think the world of him, really. He�s just so clear is the only way I can describe it.

So the whole evening had a certain air of urgency to it. I think people felt the need to be really emotionally available and it was very very special. There was a lot of love around, you know?

I got to sing like 10,000 times. And I think the most fun was when me, Debbie, and Kat did Pour Some Sugar On Me. I was good and drunk and I had so much fun�not worried about being good but just clowning around on stage.

And Lynn and I bonded a ton and she is just the sweetest girl. I dig her so much. It�s funny �cause since I moved in I think I�ve been reticent about hanging with her�not anything having to do with her but just being sort of scared of the whole female roommate thing�becoming too close and such for various reasons. I know that sounds retarded but whatever.

But yeah�I adore Lynn. She�s just the tops.

Oh�and there was one part of the evening that was INCREDIBLE.

Jeremy and Josh sang Unchained Melody together in perfect harmony and it was beyond fucking awesome. So hott. I mean seriously. I want them to tour so I can be their groupie. I almost fainted listening to them.

Then directly after, Drummer Boy sang. I don�t think I�ve mentioned him here before, but he is a Theatre Guy/Musician who looks like Chris Cornel and sings like Marvin Gaye. He did Ain�t No Sunshine and I almost died. My heart just about stopped beating. I am head over heels in lust with this man. Like, I don�t know if I�ll be able to stop myself from slamming him against a wall someday and biting his neck. It�s this obscene visceral attraction that�s so intense it�s nearly impossible to deal with.

God I love that. I love lust so much. YAY for lust.

And then, right after that, Co-Star sang. I can�t remember the song, but it was an old standard, and of course I was turned into a fucking puddle on the floor. He always does that to me even still�though I don�t actively want him like I used to�seeing him sing kills me. When he sings I�m in love with him.

And THEN Jonee sang and he did I Walk The Line and it was gorgeous.

So there it was�five hott men in a row singing five hott songs and turning me into mush. Can anything be better than that?

The only bad part of the evening was when someone hit on someone else right in front of me and it made me kind of mad, but whatever�I�ll get over that. And anyway, it�s not my business anyhow. And what right do I have to bitch about it I guess since I was all over tons of people all evening and I certainly would have fucked Drummer Boy if I�d had the chance. God, my possessiveness is a bad bad thing.

Right now I�m all giddy and in such a good fucking mood and so happy with life and the world. And I get to see all these peeps again tonight and that thrills me to the bone.

You know, I�ve got a great fucking lot in life.