Tuesday, Aug. 05, 2003 | 10:20 PM

Holy crackola!

Alamada�s moving to New York in a month. Jonee�s off the San Fran. Kelly and Tara are headin� for Austin. Danni�s leaving for India to save the world.

It�s all so beautiful and exciting. What an amazing time in life�collectively. So many people I care about are doing new and exciting things and taking big risks. It�s inspiring.

And I feel like I�m there too. Moving in with Angus (who�s also in this incredible period of growth�applying for jobs and figuring out what he wants to do and just seeing things in ways that are so different than he ever has.) And then leaving Boston in the summer of �04 for summerstock work (if I get in, cross yer fingers) and afterwards winding up hopefully in New York to work with Alamada in jazz clubs and do theatre and spend time with Sean who I miss achingly.

I feel younger now than I did five years ago. And maybe it�ll all work out differently than I�ve planned and that�s fine too�just being surrounded by all these possibilities is profoundly empowering.

Soon there will be auditions for Six Degrees of Separation and classes at Harvard and seeing what will happen to Angus and I when we live together and what will happen with Ivy when she comes home from Brazil. A year ago, all of this would have been a source of terrible worry for me, but I�m not afraid now�it�s all just a wonderful adventure.

I think something powerful happens when your heart is broken and then it mends�you don�t have to be afraid of anything anymore if you confront the experience head on, survive it, and learn from it. I�m not saying I don�t ever have bad moments or dark nights of the soul, but overall I am endlessly touched by this sense of grace, and that really I wouldn�t have it any other way.