Wednesday, Jul. 30, 2003 | 12:06 PM

So in September I have a new living situation.

I got three offers and I chose one. And it�s one that I�m surprised by and I don�t know if I should talk about it now. It feels like coming full circle and it feels like a good thing. I�ve thought about it and mediated on it a lot, and I think that it will be a very good move for me�a way to test out a lot of what I�ve learned this year. It�s risky and a little scary, and it flies in the face of popular opinion. But scary is good. I need to learn to deal with intimacy and personal boundaries. And this is a crash course.

The two of us met eight years ago and we weathered a lot together�a whole lot. Knowing him reminds me that real friendship is always a continuous process of becoming. I�ve been angrier at him in the past than I�ve been at almost anyone else. We�ve gone through hell. And I can also say that I love him as much as I can imagine loving anyone-- fiercely. We know each other down to our bones. And in the past months we�ve sorted through so much. I have never been able to look someone in the eye and be 100% honest about some very scary things. Hemingway said, The world breaks everyone and some are strong in the broken places. That would be the two of us. Our relationship took one hell of a beating and we came out of it better and stronger and closer and wiser.

I am so proud of how well he�s doing and how much he�s learned. The decisions he�s made of late and how adamantly he is following through on them. We�re so alike you know in certain ways�both of us extreme and often selfish, pushing things to their limit. Up until this point I am the only person I know who�s swung from the extreme of fucked up-edness, to really getting their shit together (from homeless to harvard in a just a three easy years!), and I am inspired by what he�s been doing lately, the changes he�s making and the things he�s confronting. Ending an unhealthy relationship. Applying to school. Changing his work situation and his drinknig habits. Overhauling his living situation. And I can see that this isn�t just talk-- he�s actually making these big changes and has been for a while.

Plus, with the exception perhaps of Eric, there is no one I have more fun with than Angus.

Yes, it pretty much looks like I am going to live with Angus. And I know what you nay sayers are saying�nay say away. I have never seen someone grow so much in such a short period of time. This is going to be the last apartment (most likely) of my Boston career before I leave for the stages of summer stock and New York. And Angus will have been the first person I met and lived next door to, and the last person I lived with. I am a sucker for poetic justice. And I think that the two of us making this living situation work would give me an opportunity to heal an awful lot of terrible baggage I�m still holding onto.

If nothing else this is going to be an interesting exercise. And I�ll be living with Lynn, too who is a cutie pie. It just feels right and good, and whatever happens, I know I�m going to learn a lot. How to love people and live with them without getting completely enmeshed in their lives. That�s the goal for the next year.

I�m looking forward to this. It�s gonna be a ride, for sure.

(Auditions for Six Degrees of Separation are only a month away!!!!! I�m starting another cleanse on Saturday and I�m going to the gym. I want to deal with my body issues this year too. I feel like I�m on the verge of some good breakthroughs.)