Thursday, Jul. 03, 2003 | 11:55 AM

I haven�t talked about this at all because I�ve been too scared to even think about it, but I�ve been having a lot of problems with my throat lately, and specifically with my larynx. I�ve lost my voice over and over again and things have felt very very wrong back there.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctor and she told me that the back of my throat looked �pretty bad�, and she referred me to an ear nose and throat specialist.

She said I might have nodes, or worse yet, polyps.

Polyps are the kiss of death for a singer. You can lose your voice permanently if you have them. You can paralyze a vocal chord, which is what happened a few years ago to my friend who played the MC in our production of Cabaret-- he couldn�t sing for a year, and during that time he could barely talk as well�it was uncertain whether he�d ever be able to really do either ever again. Luckily, with the help of extensive vocal therapy and a life style overhaul, he came out OK. But he said he has to be very very careful from now on.

So anyway, the past couple of weeks I have been freaking out. And freaking out so much that I haven�t discussed this with anybody. Now, if you know me you know that I am open about everything. But this�this was too big to discuss. Whenever the thought of it entered my mind I would literally break down in uncontrollable sobs.

Because what I realized is that if I couldn�t sing, I don�t think I would want to live. It�s not just what I do, it�s who I am.

So, you know I cut down drastically on smoking and drinking (which I needed to do anyway) and started sleeping more regular hours, and praying to God every night that things were OK.

This morning I had my ear nose and throat appointment. A fiber optic wire was put through my nose and down my throat (this, by the way is not any fun at all) and a video was taken of my vocal chords while I sang (singing with a wire down your throat is really really no fun at all.)

And�.

My vocal chords are fine.

The problem?

I�m chronically dehydrated.

You are not getting enough fluids. So stuff is drying on your chords. Drink more water. You�ll be fine. Your chords are in great shape.

That�s it.

THAT�S IT!!!!!

Today is the best best BEST day of my whole life.