Wednesday, Apr. 30, 2003 | 9:59 AM

What can I say about what happened yesterday at the private rehearsal between me and co-star. It was nothing and everything and I keep asking myself how much am I reading into all of this?

We talked and talked. About the play. About all kinds of other things. He�s so intelligent and sensitive. So sweet and funny. Such a good kisser. Jesus.

Certain things he said to me yesterday�that I carry myself really well. That he loves looking at me when I walk around him at this certain point in one of our scenes (I don�t wanna give too much away, but Co-Star and I have a fabulous moment together onstage after the pineapple song. It is one of the most intense sexually charged moments I have ever experienced. ) How much he�s realized about his own life through this play and the dynamic between our characters.

It was so special and it meant so much to me.

I said to him,

When we�re onstage together it�s like I remember this part of me that I thought had died. But really I was just hibernating, and now I remember what it�s like to feel this way again.

And we talked about how hard it would be to play these characters if we didn�t have chemistry. And I offhandedly mentioned that I was attracted to him. And he said,

Yeah, I wouldn�t be able to fake this.

Co-Star is remarkable. He wants to live overseas and teach or be some kind of youth minister. We�ve had really similar situations in past relationships, and we both lost our fathers at a young age (mine dide and his walked out on the family.) We�re both really driven. We�ve both had spiritual crises. I feel like he just gets me and that when I talk he truly listens.

You know, probably nothing will happen and I don�t think he likes me as much as I like him. But you know what? That�s fine. I get to have this feeling. I get to experience caring so much about someone in this way. I get to experience what it�s like when someone looks at me with wanting eyes and I get to want him so badly too. I get to spend time with this amazing person. And I thank God for that. There�s a divine order to the universe and whatever needs to happen will happen. But for right now, I�m just going to enjoy the fact that my heart is not so twisted and broken as I thought it was. I�m going to enjoy falling hard for someone. I�m going to appreciate what a magnificent person he is. And I�m not going to expect anything specific to happen.

All things in their own time.