Monday, Apr. 28, 2003 | 2:40 PM

I�m having trouble working today because I�m all hung up thinking about Cabaret and how much I love it. And about Co-Star, who seriously rocks my world.

The other night, I asked him out for drinks with Director, Vocal Director, Stage Manager, Choreographer, and myself. Instead of just saying he couldn�t because he had to wake up super early, he went on the most meandering five minute long monologue I have ever heard. It was inspired lunacy. The last line of it was,

So yeah, I wanna have lots and lots of babies.

Then he spent the rest of the rehearsal telling me how much he wanted to go out with us but couldn�t, and then when we left the rehearsal space he gave us 20 bucks to buy a round. I kept trying to refuse, but he wouldn�t listen.

He is such a fucking sweetheart.

I�m all heart melty over him. He is completely the opposite of the guys I usually fall for. My type in the past has been geeky-hott-indie-rock boys with an over developed sense of irony and a rabid taste for booze. The boys I�ve loved before are either artists, musicians, or writers, are brilliant but kind of fucked up (I myself up have been the Queen of Fucked Up-edness, and I don�t use that term insultingly), and who have serious commitment issues. I don�t have a physical �type� per se, but the boys I�ve been involved with tend to be on the lankier side, have usually been Caucasian, and have all the indie rock boy trappings in terms of style.

Co-Star is black (and god is he adorable). He�s definitely not skinny. He dresses pretty conservatively. He doesn�t really drink (not like I do anyhow). He doesn�t smoke. He is the opposite of surly. He wants to get married. He�s gregarious and there�s something really uncomplicated about him. I don�t mean that he�s not smart. He�s incredibly bright and astute. But in the past I was always drawn to these really complex, difficult men�Projects, I call them. You know what I�m talking about�the boys you can�t figure out. The boys who have Issues. The boys who stomp on your heart and drive you crazy and it makes you want them even more and they have no idea what kind of effect their behavior has on you. Bukowski Boys�that�s my nickname for them collectively. Don�t get me wrong�I still love those boys. But I am increasingly less attracted to them romantically. I think this is a good sign.

Co-Star, although I don�t know him that well, is most definitely the antithesis of The Bukowski Boys. He strikes me as being really direct. A nice fucking guy. A guy who calls when he says he will. A guy whose affections don�t turn hot and cold. A guy who has goals and direction and knows what he wants and asks for it.

Do you remember that scene in Brigette Jone�s Diary where Rene Zellwegger finally kisses Collin Firth? After the kiss, she says breathlessly,

Nice boys don�t kiss like that.

And he emphatically replies,

Yes they fucking do.

Well Co-Star is a nice boy and Co-Star kisses in a way that makes my knees buckle and my hands shake. He definitely ranks among the best kissers with whom I�ve had the pleasure of lip locking.

The one thing Co-Star has that every boy I�ve ever really liked has also had, is a terrific offbeat sense of humor. I don�t think I could imagine ever dating a guy who couldn�t make me laugh my ass off. That is the number one prerequisite for obtaining my affections. I have no tolerance for unfunny people.