Thursday, Apr. 10, 2003 | 10:32 AM

And we�re now less than one month away from opening night. I am giddy with excitement. The publicity blitz is building�all the press packets are going out today. Hopefully we may even get reviewed! And someone from the cast of the Broadway production is coming to see our show!.

As my character says in Act I scene 6,

My head is schpinning!

I resent anything and everything that takes me away from Cabaret. Being at work feels intolerable to me. I just wanna rehearse and rehearse. Fuck work�I wanna spend 10 hours a day at rehearsal. I think if I were acting full time I would be a complete workaholic. I just wanna get it right, you know? And I wanna try things a million different ways and experiment. And I just love being there with everyone and working so hard on something that makes me happy as opposed to fucking number crunching and office politics.

How in christ did I live without this in my life? The loss of theater�that was the big aching hole in me. I thought it was other things or other people, but it was always this.

When this show ends I am going to be traumatized. I�m gonna have to find something else real quick. There�s a production of Into the Woods that�ll be holding auditions in June so hopefully I�ll get something in that.

Mr. Wonderful and I had another moment yesterday. Ergh. I want him more than I have ever wanted anyone in my life, I think. Or at least it feels that way right now.

On an unrelated note, I think it would be so wonderful if all of a sudden everyone in the whole world started making out with each other at the exact same time�just for like a minute or so. If every human being grabbed whomever was standing closest to him/her and just kissed like crazy. I�d like to look out my window and see all the people below madly pawing at each other. We need more of that.

Less war. Let�s score.