March 24, 2003 | 2:54 PM

First of all, I love Michael Moore. I loved Roger and Me and I loved Bowling for Columbine. I�ve seen him speak in person and he is a revelation. I�ve read and re-read both of his books, and I check his website every day. I agree completely with his stance on the war. That being said, I felt his speech wasn't in any way helpful towards the anti-war movement and that he chose an inappropriate forum in which to express himself so zealously. It just wasn�t the right time or place to denounce Dubya in such a vehement fashion.. His words came across as self righteous and indulgent as opposed to thought provoking, and he probably discouraged a great many people from seeing his wonderful film. I thought Adrian Brody's statements, as well as Nicole Kidman's and Susan Sarandon flashing the peace sign were far more effective and appropriate to the occasion. And I would have liked to see Michael Moore use his opportunity at the podium to talk about gun violence (since that was the whole point of his movie anyway.)

All politics aside, I grow increasingly appalled by how skinny Hollywood actresses are becoming. Rene Zellwegger, whom I admire greatly as an actress is resembling a coat hanger more and more each day. I don't understand why anyone finds this attractive�I thought she looked lovely with that �extra� thirty pounds in Brigette Jones� Diary.

Other thoughts: Catherine Zeta Jones looked radiant and I was thrilled to see her win best supporting actress. Her performance in �Chicago� was riveting�she�s a helluva dancer and a helluva actress and a damned good singer to boot. Her added fleshiness due to pregnancy was super sexy�she looked like a goddess. I only wish she could have shared the award with Queen Latifah who was also outstanding (and looked great yesterday to boot.)

Adrian Brody's speech made me cry and he is a phenomenal talent. I look forward to seeing more great work from him.

Steve Martin should host every year.

That Paul Simon song was just god awful. What the heck happened to him? He�s turning into Art Garfunkle and that can�t be good.

Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, and Susan Sarandon were elegant and classy-- all three are remarkably intelligent actresses whose work becomes increasingly complex and interesting.

I was glad to see Nicole Kidman win. As I wrote here previously, I thought her work in The Hours was stunning. However, she looked really strange last night, like she was suffering from consumption. Somebody should have told her not to pull her hair back so tight. (editor�s note�for someone as frequently schlumpy as me, I realize I have a pretty critical eye when it comes to people�s awards show outfits. But dude�the choices these people make drive me BATTY. )

Why didn't someone tell Sean Connery he looked ridiculous? Either he was starring in a community theater production of Brigadoon or he raided Fabio�s closet. It was embarrassing. The least he can do is rent a tux.

So, those are my views on Oscar. Thing is, I love all that glitz and crap. I�m a sucker for movies�not just films, but movies. I love musicals. I love long beautiful dresses. Hell, my high school prom was a highlight in my life. No matter how much I adore Nosferatu I also love The Sound of Music. I could listen to Eric�s Trip all day long, but U2 has a special place in my heart. I dig fois gras, but a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread tickles my fancy just as well. I embrace my middle brow leanings, people. You can�t feast on caviar every day.