March 08, 2003 | 11:03 AM

Last night was so special. It really was amazing.

After work I headed on over to Charlie�s and got myself a beer while waiting for Josh and Debbie. They showed up about half an hour later and the three of us chatted over a couple PBR�s before heading on over to The Pearl Street for the karaoke extravaganza.

Managed to get a table, and our homies all showed up�so many people! Let�s see if I can remember everyone who was there. Jonee, Jeremy, Chris, Tara, Kelly, Ross, Charlotte and hubby, Rich, Shawn, Dali, Sue, Cat, Maria, and Josh�s sister Becky�I bet you anything I�m forgetting to mention someone. It felt so wonderful to be around all these people at the same time which hasn�t happened in at least a month.

Did I sing? Hells yeah. Voices Carry and Rainy Days and Mondays. Josh sang too�a fucking kick ass version of Georgia On My Mind and Jeremy did Allison and Space Oddity. Debbie paid tribute to Joan Jett (I Hate Myself For Loving You), and she and Tara also dueted on Bust a Move. It was hott. Oh and I almost forgot-- Chris tore it the fuck up with Jumpin' Jack Flash. He does Jagger better than Jagger.

Closed down the bar (of course). There were so many hugs and kisses and so much love and even though it was sad �cause Debbie is leaving, it was joyful too.

Debbie gave me a painting�a beautiful self-portrait and I was beyond touched.

I wish I could do a better job of describing the evening but I can�t right now �cause I�m too fucking tired. I felt so warm and cared for and loved and I just loved being with everyone. It was one of those nights where you realize how special it is while it�s actually happening and you treasure every single second of it.

My life is so full. Sometimes it�s full of heartache and sometimes it�s full of joy. But I am thankful for every fucking second of it. I am thankful that I can live so hard and so extremely and with great gusto and desperation. Everything keeps getting better and better. No mendacity, complacency, or doldrums. Every moment is packed and genuine and I feel finally that I am living life on my own terms. I no longer feel like I�m wasting time or just fucking around or compromising. Even having fun has become a serious business.

Oh my gosh I�m going to miss Debbie so much.