January 27, 2003 | 2:03 AM

I just had the most fabulous day.

Had a big fuckin� breakfast with my sister and her boyfriend.

Then Debs came over and we giggled a bunch over lotsa stuff. �Couple hours later Jonee showed up and the three of us had a delicious stir fry dinner while listening to Air and Portois Head..

Sis and her boyfriend went out together to the North End and Jonee and Debs and me went to The Good Life where we met up with Sean and Rich and toasted Josh�s birthday.

It was beautiful and surreal and a great time.

And yet I feel so sad right now, for reasons I can�t express. It�s frustrating you know. Not to be able to say anything, knowing that people are forming their own conclusions and that there�s nothing you can do about it.

So sad. So fucking sad. So much I want to say and can�t or rather won�t except to wish you all a good night.

Sweet dreams.