January 25, 2003 | 2:44 PM

Yesterday I had such a wonderful time with Jonee and Jeremy. I got to see Hedwig on stage and sing at a piano bar in Boston, one that kinda reminded me of this place at which I spent New Years a million lifetimes ago. I sang my heart out last night and it felt good. I�ve been preparing for my audition and spending time with people whom I care about and feel safe around, people who are direct and honest with me and who support me, people whom I respect and admire.. And I feel more like �myself� than I have in years.

This morning my sister and her boyfriend and I went out for a great big breakfast. Now they�re out carousing together and I have decided to re-read Good In Bed, a book recommended to me a long time ago by Emily (whom I miss a great deal) which oddly parallels my life in numerous ways. Now more so than ever.

It�s just a beach book and the author reminds me a lot of a female Douglas Coupland. Great literature it ain�t, but it�s funny and sad and quite insightful. And there�s a lot in it that�s of good use to me. Some of the characters in Good In Bed are so similar to people I know in real life that it�s actually downright frightening.