Wednesday, Apr. 28, 2004 | 10:10 AM

So I wrote him a letter�not what I posted here yesterday although somewhat similar. It was the most vulnerable letter I have ever written anyone. It was a love letter. It�s everything that I am and everything that I want and everything that I have to offer. And I sent it. I told him that I was going to give him some space for a week or so and wait to hear from him, which is what I am doing now.

And you know, I feel utterly at peace. There is a serious possibility that he�s going to freak out and that I will be rejected. But you know what? That�s fucking part of life. I�ve been through hell and back before. I�ve been bruised and battered and destroyed and nothing will ever hurt as much as that; I�ve risen like a phoenix from the ashes and I am far stronger than I�d ever given myself credit for. What I feel for him is real. What we have is real. I know it like I�ve never known anything else. And fuckin� a�at least I�ll have tried. At least I�ll know that I did everything in my power. At least I won�t spend the rest of my life regretting that I didn�t go after the person whom I think may be the love of my life.

So we�ll see. We�ll just fucking see. Is he going to take the leap? Who knows. But I took it. And that�s really what matters.

Life is too fucking short to live in fear.