Friday, Jan. 09, 2004 | 10:24 AM

Liz (Matt�s sister) and I had dinner together last night at Unos. I had Fish and chips and several glasses of red wine. She ordered pizza and french fries. It was my treat, which always feels good. We talked for three hours. She is an incredibly cool girl and also strikingly beautiful. You know how there are some people who are aesthetically pleasing like a work of art and it�s not that you have any sexual attraction to them but you just want to look at them for hours and hours? She�s one of those. She�s lithe with long blond hair and huge blue eyes and facial features that remind me a lot of Scarlett Johansson. She has so much grace and this lovely sort of vulnerability. Her brother is divine looking as well�his looks remind me of my friend Sean�s looks�not in that they are similar looking because they aren�t. But they both have these striking features and smiles that light up a room�when Matt smiles I can feel my heart go as gooey as caramel. Both Sean and Matt also have this mysterious rock star charisma and are fit for the cover of Spin Magazine. I suspect that some day both of them will be elicitng world wide crushes from girls who wear cats eye glasses and heavy Betty bangs.

I�m very much about physical appearance, but not in the way that most people are, I think. I love people's looks-�all kinds of people, and there are very few people I don�t find beautiful. I thought Elliott Smith was beautiful. I think Frank Black is beautiful. I think Jack Black is the hottest thing on the planet. I harbor several major crushes on individuals whom I know personally that others might consider quite plain but to me are breathtaking. I really like dorky sad sack Eyeore boys who radiate sensitivity�that�s a very specific type and I�m always highly attracted to those people. If someone�s a lovely person, it shines right through them and imbues their physicality with something wonderful. There are so many people who don�t know how beautiful they are, and it�s too fucking bad.

You know what else I love? People�s voices�not just the literal tonal quality, but the entire rhythm and manner in which they speak. I love hearing Matt talk. He could talk for hours straight and I�d never get tired of his cadence and language.

I am so glad that I�m seeing him tomorrow. I just want to give him a giant fucking hug and a kiss and I can�t wait to be able to look at his beautiful face and hear his beautiful voice and listen to all his brilliant ideas. I couldn�t have dreamed up a more wonderful human being and I am so glad that he is my dear amazing friend and that I have the capacity to care so fully about him. I have no idea what�s going to happen but I know he�s in my life for a very important reason and it�s all unfolding so easily.