Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 | 9:35 AM

I love kissing Angus. It definitely ranks in the top ten things I enjoy doing most. I love how much Angus loves kissing�that he�s happy just to kiss and kiss and kiss for an hour before doing anything else. He is truly a fantastic kisser.

Towards me, Angus is�what�s the word? He�s careful of me. I feel like he never takes me for granted�like we never take each other for granted. I think it�s that we almost lost each other because of so much stupid bullshit, and before things got so fucked up that there was no turning back, we managed to mend the situation. And now we are so thankful and cognizant of one another that our relationship has a rock solid quality which I have never had in any relationship ever in my life outside of my family. I am more sure of Angus than of anyone I�ve ever been friends with.

I mean, who woulda thunk it? I guess part of it is that the relationship really isn�t in any way my main focus in life. Of course I adore him more than anything, but I don�t project our relationship into the future. Angus has his life and I have mine and I definitely don�t consider us a couple, although we do a lot of couple things and I certainly love him very much. We are primarily such close friends, and we truly understand each other. He makes me feel so smart and desirable and like the best possible version of myself I could be, and I just see so much good in him. We reinforce each other�s positives and that is, I think, the key ingredient for any meaningful long-term relationship. We give each other lots of space. We�re honest with each other. And there�s something between us which is almost magical. We have a really profound sense about who the other person is. We know each other like the back of our own hands, and we accept each other�s faults. We are very very similar in certain ways and quite different in others, but we compliment each other well.

I am consistently floored by how kind he is to me. How generous. How loving. How honest and sincere. I�m going to miss the hell out of him when I move to New York. Although who knows�maybe I can convince him to join me�