Thursday, Oct. 23, 2003 | 11:22 AM

This weekend I am going to New York with my mom, which I am looking forward to.

I am hoping to spend a lot of time in the East Village and maybe run into David Cross and marry him on the street corner. Actually, if I saw him I�d probably do something really retarded like quote a line from Mr. Show (Terradeloo David! Y�all been brutalzin� me!) and he�d roll his eyes at the millionteenth idiot fan girl to make a fucking fool of herself over him.

Or, perhaps David Cross would take my hand and we�d run off together to a foreign country and buy a hi fi stereo and some grape leaves and maybe we�d go on a pony ride or dig a big hole in the sand at the beach and maybe we�d watch the Jeffrerson�s in a foreign language or chuck marbles at the heads of government workers. Oh it�s all too much to think about. Maybe I�ll have to kidnap him (him being David Cross, of course.)

Le sigh.

Angus and I got stoned last night and watched Fathergoose which is right now my favorite Cary Grant movie. He�s such a bastard in it, and his timing is so dead on. I was surprised by how nihilistic and absurdist and risque the film was�especially for the time it was made. I liked it a lot.

Angus was helpful in cheering me up yesterday for which I am quite grateful. I�ve been thinking about Elliott Smith a lot. And I�ve been thinking about heroes. And I�ve been thinking about the price you pay for both having a hero and being a hero and how ultimately it�s worth it. I�ll crystallize all of this later.

Speaking of heroes, right now I�m going to read some more interviews with David Cross. He is the perfect man. Below is a picture of him. Love him. He needs to be loved.