Thursday, May. 29, 2003 | 2:49 PM

I didn�t talk about this very much when it happened because I was still savoring it. But the last weekend of Cabaret was probably the most debaucherous weekend I have ever had�even more so than that time Sean, Jason, John, and I turned the Park Plaza into the Chelsea Hotel on my 20th birthday, but that�s another story.

This is taken from my written notes over the course of the weekend.

Friday evening�s show (the 16th of May) was fucking phenomenal. Just about sold out and we�d all been building to it�you never get to that golden place on opening weekend. In fact I�m sorry for those of you who saw it opening weekend because there just is simply no comparison. We got a standing ovation Friday and Lynn and Angus and Dave and Alamada were in the audience. I received many bouquets of flowers and we all (we all being the entire cast, crew, and my entourage) went to the Hong Kong for mass quantities of scorpion bowls.

I had many in depth conversations with everyone over the course of the evening, but by the end of the night it was just Angus and I�like old times, but better. We headed out of the bar together and back to his place. And, well I�m not going to go into it too much except to say that it definitely ranks as being one of the top ten best nights of my whole life. Something transcendent happened to our relationship. All the bullshit fell away and it was incredibly special and revealing. We stayed up until 4AM and fell asleep on the couch curled up together.

The next morning he took me out to breakfast. We walked to this random section of Brighton by St. Elizabeth�s and ate at The Mirror Caf�. I hadn�t been eating anything for weeks because I�d been so pumped and adrenaline fueled, (I�d actually lost 25 lbs. without even trying) I decided that I was going to have the biggest breakfast on the planet. I had 4 over easy eggs, rye toast, bacon, sausage, and home fries. Holy mother of god it was so good.

After breakfast the two of us took the bus back to our respective residences and I attempted to get some sleep, but every time I�d lay down I�d wind up having a fit of hysterical joy�laughing, jumping up and down and whatnot. I was so happy right at that moment that I felt like my brain was going to short circuit with joy and my skull would crack and explode all over the place.

Luckily, I calmed down. A little.

I went to Saturday�s makeup call and immediately starting feeling all emotional. There was lots of hugging and such. The performance was very good, although not as good as Friday�s. I achieved dumbstruck silence again from the audience after What Would You Do, and was crying so hard on stage during my last lines (which is appropriate) that I could hardly get the words out.

After the show was over I went to see all my friends that had come�it was a who�s who of My Previous Life�John, Jenn, Sean, Eric, and Brian. Oddly enough, they all had met up and sat together. I was feeling thrilled and also kind of overwhelmed�it being the last night and all, and also being confronted with so many ghosts of Christmases past. I was really touched that they all came and John, Jenn, and Sean bought me some beautiful roses [my house has been filled with flowers for days. The roses are still very much alive, which is kind of cool.]

I gave my house keys to Eric (he was up from Jersey and he and Brian were staying with me) and the whole lot of them took off to go drinking. I stayed at the theatre to help strike the set, and after strike went on to the cast party.

And that�s where the real debauchery began.

Pot smoking. Massive amounts of the demon liquor. Ether. Yes, lots of ether. Speed too.

It turns out I made out with two people at the party�a guy and a girl. I didn�t remember one of them until I saw the pictures later, and then it all came flooding back.

I stayed at the cast party until 7AM, and then me and several other stalwarts went to another apartment and continued to drink and watch The Matrix DVD until we passed out.

I woke up at 11 AM and got a ride back to my apartment. (Oddly enough I felt terrific when I woke up�not in the least hung over.) When I arrived home, Eric and Brian were just waking up.

Upon entering, I shouted,

Let�s drink!

None of us took showers or brushed our teeth or anything. We just got on the Subway and headed over to PF Chang�s.

The three of us sat outdoors drinking I don�t even know how many martinis for a good four hours. When Eric is around, life suddenly turns into the Algonquin Round Table. He has a way of bringing out my snarkiest darkest humor and on Sunday the two of us were in good form. All day long we broke each other up. God I love him so much. And he loves me. Our friendship is so special.

When we got bored of being there we walked over to the Parish Caf� and sat in their outdoor area drinking for another few hours. We also got some sandwiches. I was feeling like a total star�it was just the greatest.

By this point we were all of us shit faced. We decided to take the T back to my apartment to rest up for a little while. On the T, Eric put on a show by dancing all around and being remedial. It was very funny at the time.

He passed out once we got to my apartment.

Brian and I watched Six Feet Under and sobered up a touch. Which of course then meant we had to get our drink on again. At 10:00 we walked on over to the Good Life to see Josh and consumed cocktails until closing. We also had a very enlightening conversation about books and art�I have no idea how the two of us were so articulate since we�d both nearly pickled our brians with booze at that point. At 1:30 AM we stumbled home.

Eric was awake and ready to chill. I have no idea what time I got to bed.

I think that was the absolute most I have ever drank in my entire fucking life.

When I woke up the next day I was running a fever and coughing up strange substances. I also couldn�t talk. I had passed out on the futon cross wise still wearing my shoes.

I felt like I�d been pierced by the staff of the grim reaper.

But it was 100% worth it.

Phew�I�m glad I finally documented all that. It�s good to let wonderful experiences stir around in your brain a little while before you take them out and serve �em up.

Anyway, I�ll be letting you all know when my performance at the Chuck will be. It�s going to be fabulous, and most likely the last Saturday of June. But don�t hold me to that �cause I gotta confirm it.