February 20, 2003 | 12:49 PM

Whoah�..

Kelly asks good questions. What is the difference between thinking and feeling? Why is the relationship to self more difficult to a relationship to another person? What else did you ask , kelly�Oh yeah�going to see Lord of the Rings again�I�m all about that. I�ve only gone once. (and I�m all about karaoke too)

The difference between thinking and feeling�

These words are too solid they don�t move fast enough,
To catch the blur in the brain
That flies by and is gone

That�s what I think the difference between thinking and feeling is. Thoughts can be organized and molded and categorized and compared and dissected. And feelings really can�t. I mean, we can think about our feelings. We can come up with words to describe them. But they are so flimsy and can�t nearly relate the intensity, the primal nature of what it is that occurrs inside us when we have an emotion (you know, I really hate that word�emotion. It calls to mind PMS and sobbing housewives watching Oprah) We can dress feelings up prettily and wrap neat little theories around them like satin bows. But feelings just ARE. What exactly is love�I know what it MEANS�to me, at least, but can I define it? I can try, but the best I�ll come to it is through poetry or music or painting. Anything else doesn�t do it justice. Oh wait, here�s another way to think about it. A feeling can be expressed through the body�you can fuck someone or hit them or stiffen when they touch you. Whereas thoughts really can�t.

And why is it so much harder to have a relationship with yourself than with other people? Sometimes I find relating to other people more difficult. My problem is that I get so wrapped up in someone else, in their feelings and thoughts, that it�s almost like I become those feelings�I can feel their pain or their anger and then I can�t relate to them because I�m incapable of being objective. And I do that with myself, too. I become my own feelings. It�s like I am love or I am anger or hate or whatever I feel at the time. And in some ways, it�s really amazing to just have that level of intensity about everything in the world. You know�to just feel everything so strongly and intimately. But then also it costs me a lot because I find it very difficult to separate from that and be rational. Which is why the healthiest I am is when I�m doing drama or music or something that allows me to have a sane outlet for all that.

But yeah�so I�m not really answering your question. Oh well.

Oh wait-- another bit on thoughts and feelings-- thoughts are like the hard shell of the tootsie pop and feelings are the gooey inside. Thoughts carry feelings, encase them, give them boundaries.