January 07, 2003 | 9:35 PM

I'm saying this and I'm not saying it directed at anyone specific except myself.

Something I've learned, and often forget is how difficult it is to come across people in this world that you love. The probablitity that out of so many millions of people walking around, you happen to bump into a few who make life a sweeter more interesting adventure just isn't very high. When it happens, you have to treasure it and keep it safe.

None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Hell, I make mistakes all the time-- just about every day. We, all of us, do things that hurt others. We lash out at each other and cause each other pain. And sometimes we can't see eye to eye. And it's OK to get angry-- that's just part of life. As long as we come back to the space of acceptance and love that draws us to someone in the first place. And sometimes even that anger and dissidence can deepen a relationship and make it better in the long run.

What I want to say to all of my friends that read this is that you are all special to me and even if I get angry at you or you get angry at me, I still love you and accept you and treasure you for the people you are. And if sometimes we make each other bleed a little bit, well that's OK. I know that ten years from now I'm not going to look back and think about some stupid diaryland wars.

I'm going to think about hearing Kelly sing for the first time. I'm going to think about Tara sculpting me a beatiful lady that still sits on my fireplace mantle. I'm going to think about staying up all night with Jonee in my apartment after seeing Rick Berlin and the Dresdent Dolls, telling secrets and stories 'til dawn. I'm going to think about Laughing so hard I almost peed when Debbie and I wrote her cover letter. I'm going to think about all the hours I've spent listening to soul music with Josh. I'm going to think about Laura making that book for Jonee's trip to Thailand. And those are the things I'm going to focus on from now on. Because the rest of it is just pap.

This has nothing at all to do with what I justy wrote, but I'm listening to Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" right now and I wonder why no choreographer has staged this song as a swing dance number. Maybe I should. The backbeat is really similar to "Sing!Sing!Sing! With a Swing!" That would be a neat little piece of post-modern genre bending.