January 15, 2002 | 7:27 PM

Do you want to know who Angus is?

He was my nextdoor neighbor in college.

He and I worked together at the stupid company and got laid off on the same day. We spent the rest of that day getting drunk together.

Angus was... Angus is one of my best friends.

Once, I slept with him.

Many times I have made out with him.

But not in a long time.

He is the worst drunk of anyone I have ever met in my life.

Five beers and he is witty, charming, clever, loveable.

Twelve beers and he is trying to steal some white hat meathead's cellphone out of his pocket in a crowded bar and getting himself and everyone he's with beaten up.

You either love Angus or you can't stand him.

I love him.

But it's really hard for me to be around him.

For a lot of reasons.

Ambivilence.

Once again, it fucking blows.