December 16, 2002 | 2:04 PM

�h Pink Moon by Nick Drake

And take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town.

Here are the top five scenarios during which this album would be highly inappropriate to play

- A birthday celebration

- A wedding

- When you��re exercising

- The office Christmas party

- While sexing

Here are some suggestions regarding when this album must be on your stereo.

- Right after someone��s funeral

- When you��ve broken up with your boyfriend

- On a rainy Sunday morning when you have no food in the house and the memory of last night��s drunken sloppiness is murkily making itself known to you.

- If you feel like crying but the tears won��t come�Xthis puppy will definitely put you over the edge.

- While you are slitting your wrists

An album for the disaffected. I don��t know if I have ever heard depression so perfectly captured on in pop music.

I bought this several weeks before being laid off from the Stupid Company. It was pouring out when I left the record store. I didn��t feel like drinking that evening, but half way through this song cycle I was downing rum and cokes like there was no tomorrow.

Lyrically the album is kind of a downer, but it��s the musicality where the true despair lies. Nick��s sparse acoustic guitar and exhausted vocals. What is it about that man��s voice that suggests the depths of loneliness?

I don��t know, but whatever it is, I like it.

�h Emperor Tomato Ketchup by Stereolab

In the wake of Mary��s death, it seems strange to talk about this record. And I wonder if listening to Stereolab will be different for me now that she��s gone�Xthe way I can never listen to Nirvana without thinking about how Kurt blew his brains out.

There was about six weeks this summer when I listened to nothing but Emperor Tomato Ketchup. Between my first job of the day and my second job of the day, I sat by the Reflecting Pool staring at the cathedral across the way and this song on repeat:

i hate to see your broken face
a lazy life of fatal waste
of fashionable cynicism
the poison they want you to drink
oh no man that's too easy

These were not good times. These were bad times. And I needed this album. I clung to it like a security blanket.

File under miraculous.

Good-bye Mary. You will be missed.

�h Isolation Drills by Guided by Voices

Guided by Voices fans usually fall into one of two camps.

In the first camp are the old schoolers who dig Vampire on Titus and Bee Thousand. They like the tape hiss and the off the cuff homemade quality of the early recordings.

Then there are the new schoolers who are just psyched Robert Pollard has some decent production on his past couple records. Those in this camp think it��s sorta groovy that Rick Ocasek actually produced a GBV album.

Often there��s cross over between the two camps, but most people can safely put themselves in one category or the other.

Personally, I��m a pop girl. I��m not so much about keepin�� it real as far as the technology goes. I like being able to hear the lyrics. And I fucking love Isolation Drills.

It��s another divorce record. God those are great, huh? And the pacing is beautiful. Just when you��re about ready to hide under the bed for the rest of your life, Pollard throws in something like How��s my drinking? to lighten the mood.

How's my drinking?
I don't care about being sober
But I sure get around
In this town

To hell with my church bells
And leave me die
With you
I won't change

OK�Xso it��s not actually that light hearted. But compared to the rest of the album...

I always think of this as being my and John��s divorce record.

One day shortly after we broke up, The Brides Have Hit the Glass (a favorite cuts from the record) was playing in our kitchen.

I don't come around
Never call or let her know
I got a life of my own
You know I hate to be around her
When she's like that
I wrote a song once about her
Called "The Brides Have Hit Glass"
You know it just won't last
To be on top of your own world
With no guardrails to cling to
You fall so very fast
It's very odd to find her up again
Staking out expansion
Seeking new exposure

Suddenly John burst into sobs and began apologizing profusely for doing so.

That was the only time I ever had any indication that he was upset about the break up.

The Brides Have Hit the Glass is on a mix CD my ex just gave me this past weekend. That song still wrecks me. I don��t get over shit so easy.

Oh, here are two mix CD��s I made. This is the first one. And This is the second one.