October 24, 2002 | 3:29 PM

So I saw Miss America walking around my department today.

No, I�m not talking about some drag queen pretending to be Miss America, or some hoity toity type who I might refer to as Miss America if I were the sort of person to say something like,

Look at her. Who does she think she is? Miss America?

No, I mean the actual Miss America. Just walking around the halls and eating a tuna fish sandwich after giving a speech.

Unfortunately, it seems she left her tiara and ballgown at home. It just wasn�t the same.

My life is such a bizarre succession of craziness that I often wonder whether I am starring in someone else�s nightly dreams.