October 24, 2002 | 12:32 PM

Tainted love
Now I know I�ve got to (clap clap) run away

Oh pardon me�I was just singing along with my MP3 Player. IN MY OFFICE.

Today is the best day of all time, work wise anyway. All I have to do all day is stick labels on envelopes. Which in and of itself would suck. However, because this is all I have to do, I get to shut my office door for the whole eight hours I am here, pull down the blinds on my window, and listen to the 800 or so songs I have downloaded on my computer.

Fucking, sweet, huh?

Later today I�m going to see Bowling For Columbine which I should have seen last Sunday but was too busy being a lout to get to.

I�m really hoping to go karaokeing this Saturday because I have this hankering to sing The Lady is a Tramp and I think I�ll wear some ridiculous Peggy Lee outfit and have a martini in my hand while I do it.

I kind of wish I could get stoned right now. That�s one thing I miss about my last job. Smoking in the office�not while anyone else was around of course, but how many times did we get drunk and stoned in the breakroom? One time Angus and I climbed out the window and drank three bottles of champagne on the fire escape after work. We also each had a canoli. It was his birthday after all. The canolis had chocolate chips on them.

Man I want champagne and a canoli and to be stoned right now.

What a spoiled little twat I am�it�s not enough that I get to be chair dancing to tunes all day and getting paid for it.

I wish I could go trick or treating this year.