October 10, 2002 | 3:57 PM

I really miss Joe. And Eric. And Jonee. And Emily.

Why does everyone have to go away?

For all of you that still live in Boston, I am issuing a moratorium on leaving the city for any length of time longer than several weeks. The borders are closed to you if you have my love.

Of course, any white hat meat head republican types, bimbo eurotrash club girls, and on the make young urban professions with a hardon for Dave Mathews, are instructed to flea the city poste haste.