September 03, 2002 | 11:46 AM

Sometimes people are so fucking stupid and I just can�t stand it. People complicate and convolute issues that are quite simple, and if peered at through a lens of relative objectivity would be easily solved.

Case in point. Sex education in schools. How can anyone not see this situation within the context of utilitarianism? Whatever anyone�s sexual proclivities, moral framework, hangups, or personal code of ethics may be, the grand question is not What is right (ethically)? but rather, What works? How can we best accomplish the goal of decreasing teen age pregnancy and stopping the spread of sexually transmitted diseases?

And the only way to figure that out is via the scientific method. RESEARCH.

I can�t stand how educators project their own philosophical conclusions based on how they feel the world should be. That�s all fine and well to debate in a metaphysics class. But dogma and indoctrination do not belong in the classroom. I am so fucking sick of egomaniacs and religious nuts using their clout and political power to influence what goes on in the public school system. I am absolutely baffled that non-abstinence based sex education isn�t going to be receiving federal funding, although considering who runs this fucking country I shouldn�t be surprised. Are we in the dark ages here? All of the scientific research up to this point concludes that non-abstinence based sex ed is far more effective than just telling kids to not fuck until after they are married. And yet the government is choosing to fund less effective programs, which they know are less effective, but which make them feel more comfortable. It�s complete and utter doublethink and we should be ashamed that we allow this to occur.

Republicans would have us believe that non-abstinence based sex education brainwashes children into hedonistic little pleasure addicts. And that if we tell kids about condoms and birth control, modern society will turn into a combination of Soddam and Gommorah, Nero�s Rome, and Studio 54 before Roy Cone came on the scene.

The thing is, society is already like that anyway. And it isn�t like that because of sex education. It�s like that because of the rampant and vapid materialism and complete soullessness associated with the corporatization of America, careerism, dumbing down of America�s public schools, bad television, crappy corporate radio (thanx Clear Channel, you fucking assholes�oh and thank you too President Clinton for signing into existence the Telecommunications Act of 1996 which has put an end to meaningful interchange on the airwaves). It�s like that because something rotten is growing at the center. There�s a cynicism and rootlessness to postmodern life. And society is in many respects amoral and disgusting. We have lost touch with basic tenants of human kindness and forgiveness and logic and the true meaning of education.

When translated directly from it�s Latin roots, the word education means �to lead out�. Basically by giving people information you provide them with the key to unlock what is already inside of them. True education is the exact opposite of indoctrination or imposing any state�s or religion�s belief system onto blank sponge like minds ready to absorb whatever nonsense those in power see fit.

This doesn�t apply just to sex ed of course. I strongly suggest everyone read the book, Lies My Teacher Told Me if you wanna see exactly what kind of historical fiction and cultural mythology is still being circulated as fact.

And also, on a totally different topic, buy the new Aimee Mann album. It fucking rules.