September 01, 2002 | 11:00 AM

When people write about their dreams on Diaryland I usually skip it because nobody's dreams mean as much to someone else as they do to the person who dreamed them.

(OK OK-- maybe the shrink you're paying seventy bucks an hour to analyze the meaning behind your reoccuring nightmare involving Michael Jackson's old nose being eaten by a swarm of African Swallows might care, but most people tune out when they hear, I had this crazy dream yesterday blah blah blah...)

That being said lemme tell ya about the dream I had last night.

I was at some kind of zen retreat classroom and all of the walls were mirrors. There were maybe seven other students in the class as well and we were each sitting in the lotus position on top of an old fashioned desk. The class was being taught by my former acting teacher (who incidentally, if you care, played Tom Hanks' Mom in the flashback sequences of Philadelphia-- you know me, obnoxious name dropper that I am)and the subject of the day was how to walk on air.

I kept trying to jump off of my desk and take flight but always landed flat on my face. The other students in the class were far more successful and I watched them stroll along five feet above ground. I just couldn't get it-- couldn't figure out how to do it.

Later on I was sitting outside with a couple people from the class-- we were having a picnic lunch. I was asking them how they managed to float in the air, and one of the girls told me that actually the laws of gravity were all wrong and everyone has the capacity to transcend them. She went into this huge scientfic explanation as to why and how, and it all made perfect sense (of course now that I'm awake I can't remember a fucking thing that she said-- oh well).

I stood up and decided to give it one last try. And (of course) lo and behold I was able to climb through the air. It was exhilarating. The sky was robins egg blue and the landscape below looked like a Japaese litograph.

Suddenly, there were kites all around me of all different shapes and colors-- one was a beautiful golden dragon and another one looked like the sacred heart. And a third was the holy grail. And there was a circular black kite with the zodiac stitched in white yarn.

And writing this now it seems cliche but it was so real. I woke up and I never felt better in my life.

My family went home this morning. I was sad to see them go. I've had such a wonderful couple weeks. I feel fucking awesome about everything. I'm so glad.

Today I'm going to buy a bottle of shirah and listen to my Great Poets Reading Their Poems Aloud compilation CD. And later I'm going to watch Twin Peaks and Simpsons episodes.

Tomorrow it's back to work.

And two weeks from now school starts.

It's raining outside. I think I'll go take a walk.