September 03, 2002 | 3:49 PM

Sex ed part 2.

Read part 1 first .

And then on the other hand,

This is coming from someone who had four abortions. Does that make a difference? Would a conservative in favor of abstinence based sex ed be able to poke a hole in my argument by stating, Maybe if you had waited until you go married to fuck someone, you wouldn�t be in this position. That�s what we are trying to prevent.

Sex is so complicated. It�s far more complicated and far heavier an issue than we give it credit for.

And I just want to state that my personal opinion is that high schoolers really have no business having sex. That�s just my opinion. I think sex is too dangerous emotionally and physically for people to be (pardon my pun) screwing around with it when they are so young. Again, I know there are exceptions to that, and I don�t condemn anyone in high school for getting laid at all. Other people have different experiences than I have had. But I think by and large it�s better to wait �til you�re older.

I cannot imagine going through an abortion at the age of fifteen or sixteen. It was hard enough at 25.

But I think kids have a right to the facts about birth control and preventing sexually transmitted diseased. I think they have a right to information sans dogma. And I think that as a rule the pro-abstinence movement is propagated by yabbering repressed fools.

Still... sex is a big deal. A very big deal. We�re talking about a process that creates another human being. Yes it�s fun, and silly and a good time. But it should be taken very very seriously as an act. And personally, I think sex without some kind of connection�I�m not saying love�but mutual respect and understanding and you know, esteem, is really vacuous and awful.

Once I fucked a bartender behind a bar afterhours. I�d only known him for an hour. I don�t remember his name. I was drunk and nineteen. We used a condom. Still, it was very very stupid. Nothing bad happened but it could have.

And I felt shitty about that for a long time�even though I still tell that story as an amusing anecdote (Did I ever tell ya about the time I went to Toronto and screwed this thirty0-five year old bartender at the hotel I was staying at with my family? Pull up a chair...), it was lame. Did I have a good time? Yeah. Did I get off? Definitely. But I could have accomplished both of those objectives masturbating in my room.

I believe that sexual intercourse is sacred. It�s huge. It�s a religious experience. And messing about with it leads to bad ugly consequences, and I know that better than anyone.

The best sex I�ve ever had was a direct result of love. Love was very much a part of the act. Fucking someone while you look deep into their eyes. Joining with another person. Laughing and talking while you�re doing it. Really knowing that person inside and out. That�s the best. Nothing compares.

So it�s all complicated. And I know that. The Pro-abstinence people are idiots. I�m sorry, but by and large they are. However, they have a point� which is that sex is debased and made light of in our society.

And something is lost.

The sexual revolution and free love and all that was a wonderful progressive step towards sexual enlightenment. But we took a wrong turn somewhere when we divorced sex from spirituality and use it to sell jeans and wash away boredom and apathy.

I don�t know.

This is all very complicated. Nature vs. nurture and all that.

Right now, I wanna fuck.

Oh well.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.