May 24, 2002 | 9:12 AM

AHEM!

I have a very important announcement to make.

I have signed my lease to move into my brand new amazing beautiful one bedroom apartment in August.

As Anne reminded me, Goethe said "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid."

It also looks like I have an A in metaphysics.

And yesterday on my bus ride home to Rochester, a crazy drunk guy started screaming that he had a bomb and was highjacking the bus. So we sped to a Greyhound police station and two policemen boarded the bus with guns and grabbed the guy and took him off and cuffed him. He was really belligerent and yelling about how he was going to blow up the bus. I don't think he had any weapons-- he was just a crazy drunk guy being an asshole, but it was kind of scary because I was sitting right in front of him, and I started thinking about my life and how lucky I am and how much I have to be happy about. And at first no one could be sure whether he had a bomb or not.

I'm way more calm about this than I should be.

Now,. I am ecstatic that I didn't get blown to pieces and I got home to Rochester safe and sound and I'm with my family and I'm happy-- in a way that I haven't been happy since I was 18 years old.

I am doing exactly what I want right now with my life. I know that I keep saying things to that effect over and over again in here, but it's such a novelty after having felt so incredibly sad and unloved and lacking control for so long.

I feel really, really blessed.

And I am still alive. The guy didn't have a bomb.

WOW. Jesus Christ. I don't even know what to say. I just feel so fucking grateful for everything.