January 16, 2002 | 3:38 PM

I want to explain the kind of high school I went to.

Everyone got in to Harvard, Brown, Yale, Vassar.

If everyone didn�t get into Harvard, Brown, Yale, Vassar, everyone had a nervous breakdown and wound up wandering the streets sobbing at 4AM because they weren�t good enough, smart enough, and doggone it people didn�t like them just the way they were.

Everyone�s parents were doctors, lawyers, university professors.

Everyone voted for the Democratic party.

Everyone summered in Spain, spent Spring Break in the Florida keys, snacked on sushi at midnight.

Everyone was blue haired, gay, feminist, vegetarian,

Everyone collected records, everyone smoked dope.

Eveoyonee was an anorexic. Everyone�s parents were divorced.

It was a strange strange place to grow up.

AMbivilence again�

I grew up in the Upstate version of Central Park West, yet I was homeless and slept in an airport when I was 19. I spent that entire year living on cheetos and colt 45. And it wasn't 'cause I was slumming either. I was a flat on my ass nowehere to turn broke and royally fucked up individual who wore the same red dress for 297 days straight and was this close to ending it all

Now I work at Harvard and am mulling over law school.

Go figure.

For each truth in my life, there is another directly contradicting it. This goes for my relationships as well.

It is truly exhausting being myself.

I should have been twins.