January 09, 2002 | 4:04 PM

Being sick like this and confined to my apartment is like going back in time to last year when I was laid off. Too much time for contemplation, continuously filtering the same pointless questions through my overworked imagination.

I am half watching a documentary on Ayn Rand. Sometimes I think she was right. But there is so little compassion in her philosohpy, and I can't understand how someone's worldview can be solid if it does not include within its framework an empathy with the suffering of others. Placing oneself outside the confines of common human experience results in tunnle vision and an inabiltity to question ones own motives and conclusions. I know this sounds a bit trite, but I really believe that there would be very little in the way of true human progress without kindness and understanding.

Anyway...

Earlier I watched some cheesy show on E! about Lenny Bruce, but of course it had nothing to do with his genius and everything to do with scandal. Well what am I expecting? It's called E! the Entertainment Network. If I want intelligence I should watch PBS.

Back to Ayn Rand. Maybe I should re-read We the Living.