December 19, 2002 | 11:10 AM

So yeah, I'm just going to share with you some things about my natal chart (astrological birth wheel) which are just DEAD ON. Anybody who says astrology is bunk needs to look a little deeper into it.

After all, if quantam physical theory turns out to be correct, and we are all energy particles, wouldn't it make sense that the relationship between your own energy and that of the cosmos at the time of your birth might have some effect on you?

Think this is pseudo science? I don't care. Read on because this is a point on accurate portrait of who I am.

Mars Square Jupiter

This is usually a very positive aspect, but you must develop some self-control. Otherwise you will take foolish risks that cannot possibly work out, even physical risks that could lead to an accident. Also you tend to work hastily and sloppily, leaving jobs unfinished.

You are very optimistic and have a lot of energy. You believe that everything will work out all right, which is true, if you are a little careful. Your energy needs an outlet.

You hate to stand still in life or be restricted. You want to be constantly on the move, having new experiences and seeing new places. This restlessness may create problems in school, because it is so difficult to sit quietly for long. And you find it hard to work patiently on difficult problems in your subjects.

Most people will like to be around you because of your energy and enthusiasm. However, you may be a bit thoughtless toward others and hurt people's feelings because you are honest to the point of tactlessness. Usually others will know that you aren't trying to be mean, and they will forgive you. But your social life will be improved if you think about what you are going to say before you speak.

Your Mars square Jupiter indicates that it is essential for you to discipline yourself in using your abundant physical and intellectual resources. You make valiant efforts to acquire knowledge, but when there is no immediate reward you quickly lose interest. Once you acquire faith in your ability to succeed, persistence and determination will come.

You need to define your objectives clearly and then establish a program for realizing them, a schedule you can adhere to.

This planetary combination inclines you to some difficulty in dealing with people. You feel threatened by competitors and unfairly treated by superiors in your job. You do not accept criticism gracefully.

You have the potential for excellence in law, government, teaching, writing, public speaking, sports, acting, and the communications media in general.

You tend to act impulsively, not taking time to consider whether any danger is involved. Because you do everything to excess, you need frequent rest to restore your physical reserves.

Sun Sextile Jupiter

The Sun sextile Jupiter shows that you are philosophical, curious, and sympathetic, and you approach your goals with enthusiasm. You understand your capabilities, and have great confidence in what you can accomplish. Even when you are the butt of the joke you can laugh at yourself, because you have a good sense of humor. You are serious about your life direction, but not ponderously so.

Communication is the medium by which you put your best foot forward. For this reason, education, the news media, philosophy, law, theatrical enterprises, public relations, or religion would be excellent avenues for your creative expression. People will believe what you say, and you are subtly persuasive.

You are an idea person who needs constant opportunities to apply your creative thinking. You work best when you can decide for yourself how to use your talents for the best results.

You usually cultivate the friendship of other individuals who are optimistic, courageous, and impatient with routine. You generally get a lot out of life because you put a lot into it.

Moon Opposition Saturn

Your Moon opposition Saturn indicates depth of understanding but it also indicates periods of considerable pessimism and depression. You take life seriously, and no event or relationship is ever casual or superficial.

You relate better to older people, and even in childhood you associated more easily with adults than with those your own age.

Your professional opportunities may be limited unless you can become more optimistic. You will function better if you can be self-employed or can at least exercise self- determination in performing tasks. It is important that you establish your own goals and construct a plan of action to realize them.

You will probably seek a person who is strong in character, self-disciplined, and demanding. If you have successfully modified your attitude toward people so that you are not on the defensive you would enjoy having a liberal-minded mate who could help you exploit your potentials to their fullest.

Frequent rest is advised, and try to get away occasionally from the pressure of everyday routine.

Moon Square Uranus

You are a rather excitable person, always looking for ways to bring excitement and change into your life, although you may not be aware that you are doing this. Sometimes the excitement may come from other people who seem to disrupt your life. Often this aspect indicates that at some time when you were quite young, your home life was upset in a way that made you feel unable to depend on others for emotional support. So you have decided not to depend emotionally on anyone and to be free in as many other ways as possible. You don't want to be restricted, and you will rebel against anyone who tries to confine you.

You have a strong need to have experiences that are very unusual, so you are attracted to anything new and different. You will even do something just to shock the stuffy people around you. Or you may be fairly conventional yourself but attract friends who are offbeat.

You are not very comfortable with traditions, unless it is clear to you that they have some real use. Having to stay in a specific place annoys you, because you want to be free to move about as you want. When you are older, your relationships with the opposite sex will be much freer than usual, because you do not want to be emotionally tied to anyone more than you have to be.

When you are upset, you tend to act without thinking, so try not to do anything at all while you are in that mood. Wait until you cool off and can see the situation clearly.

The square from the Moon to Uranus shows that you are often emotionally erratic and impulsive. If someone crosses you, you reply abruptly, and may even be bad-tempered with those you love most. You must exercise greater self- discipline in order to control your outbursts, many of which are unnecessary and unjustified. You have many lessons to learn, and the first is submission. The freedom you demand must be given to others as well, or you will encounter many problems in your relationships.

You are bright and ingeniously clever. When you gain more self-control, you can become a smashing success. Your talents are suitable for teaching, writing, research, or politics.

Your impatience and impulsiveness may make you accident-prone. You lack caution in judgment, which encourages accidents.

Marriage can succeed for you only if you are willing to compromise. Because of your rejection of responsibility, you would be totally unprepared for a union except on your own terms. Actually, you have a desperate need to relate to your partner on an equal basis. If you do you will delight in your gain rather than malign your loss.

Moon Trine Pluto

Your feelings are very deep and intense and are an important part of your personality. For this reason, anything concerning your own or other people's emotions is a very serious matter. You won't play games with anyone's feelings, which makes you more considerate of others than many young people.

Although you are completely serious about emotional matters, you like to express your own feelings quite dramatically. Because you want to make it clear to everyone how you feel about something, you may act out a very emotional role. However, in doing so you may make an unimportant situation seem important. Sometimes you act out the drama inside yourself to make an emotional situation more important to you. Be sure to think about the real meaning of such situations and don't blow them up too far.

You enjoy every new emotional experience and often get into strange situations just to feel something different from your everyday emotions. You are willing to run the risk of pain and hurt to learn about a new feeling. As an adult you will look for relationships with others that are very intense emotionally.

You love everything mysterious and unknown and want to learn about all the dark and hidden areas of your mind. Because of this curiosity, you are naturally interested in psychology and human nature.

Interpretation by Robert Hand from "Youth Portrait", which is also an interesting read for grown-ups.

Jupiter Trine Ascendent

Jupiter trine the Ascendant means that you always expect to succeed. You find it possible to make grandiose plans for the future, because you know how to capitalize on your creative abilities as tools with which to seek your goals in life. You like the good life and all its comforts, which can be yours if you are willing to make an enormous investment of personal effort.

You overestimate other people's skills and underestimate your own, which can lead you to have a defeatist attitude. Concentrate your efforts on gaining excellence in what you do, so that you can dismiss these anxieties.

The people you work for regard you more highly than you think. Hoping to gain their respect, you attempt to do more than your share in the tasks assigned to you.

You are too generous in sharing your ideas with others when you should develop them for your own benefit.